Frankly, I think that people who say something is "gay" or "ghey", meaning it is flawed, misguided, stupid, or wrong, and think it has nothing to do with denigrating homosexuality, are a bunch of faggots.
Why do you think that is? Originally, gay meant happy, and faggot referred to sticks. Now it's an insult, and is taken to mean "flawed, misguided, stupid or wrong" only because they came to be tied to homosexuality, which in some (many) minds is a negative thing.
Who can use the language? It's a tough call. I call myself, and sometimes friends, "dykes," but I mean that to refer to both a political and sexual identity that has worked for reclamation of the term, and rejection of the medicalized "homosexuality." However, layperson on the street would probably get punched for it.
If you're not a member of a disenfranchised group (racial, sexual, religious), it's tough if not impossible to understand what daily life is for those who are. Including what it means to be called one of those terms. As such, do you really consider yourself informed or entitled enough to throw it around?
That being said, particular environments, BARF included, have their own social norms: the leg-humping, the term "azn," and fggtry (especially if machete is involved in the thread
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The reason I brought the question up was because I witnessed an altercation where one guy called the other guy a faggot (I think he was) and shit hit the fan. No, said person was not me! 
Obviously the receiver was not a happy camper being called one.
