BARF - Bay Area Riders Forum

Go Back   BARF - Bay Area Riders Forum > Community > Kitchen Sink


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-12-2018, 12:02 PM   #1
budman
General Menace
 
budman's Avatar
 
AMA Life Member #203453
Highway Aviator
Founding Member
Top Percent Poster
Community Contributor + BB
Moto Junkie

Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Palo Alto, Ca.
Motorcycles: A few here and there
Name: Budman
Holidays and depression stay aware - lost a friend today.

Today I am stunned by the suicide of a neighbor. Police are there now and my wife found out he shot himself.

I knew the dude was not acting normal as he was always out front of his house lounging when I rode by. This was the case for two decades. I had not seen him for a few months and just guessed he was changing a bit in middle age.

I would see him on his bicycle too riding around the neighborhood. He was great as far as informing folks of issues or warning of things happening (car break ins/ burglaries etc.. some gossip too).

Single dude without much family. He rode moto's in his teens and twenties so we had some conversations about that.

From discussions in the hood that are taking place with neighbors and my wife I found out he had been depressed lately. I was aware he had a heart condition and other medical issues and we had chatted about the meds he was on and such before. Not sure if he was facing more catastrophic health issues or was just lonely or he was struggling financially .. just

Beside the moment to share this (for my own dealing with this) I thought it was a good time to say we should stay aware of folks that might be struggling with the Holiday's and the depression can bring. I wish I could reach out and throw him in the my car and go to Alice's. I am feeling somewhat guilty of not doing something like that or actually reaching out because I had not seen him for a while.

Suicide is real and tragic and even though just acquaintance friend it has opened my eyes to pay attention to others like that a bit more.

Godspeed King


**EDIT**
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255

Veterans Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255

Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
budman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 12:06 PM   #2
Johndicezx9
Rolls with it...
 
Johndicezx9's Avatar
 
Contributor ++

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Monterey Pen
Motorcycles: :o)
Name: John
Sorry for your loss.
__________________
"I used to be 'with it', but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it', and what's 'it' seems weird and scary. It'll happen to you!"
Johndicezx9 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 12:07 PM   #3
CocoLoco
FN #5
 
CocoLoco's Avatar
 
Contributor ++

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: East Bay
Motorcycles: CM450C (sold), FJ600 (sold), CBR1000RRx2
Name:
Bummer.
__________________
You can't read between the lines without also looking at the lines.
-rodr

Perfect people are boring as fuck.
-afm199
CocoLoco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 12:07 PM   #4
bruceflinch
I love Da Whores
 
bruceflinch's Avatar
 
Contributor ++++++++++

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Bay Point
Motorcycles: Present: Cage Past 305SS RD400 CB500 RD250 CB360 XS650 R1200R XT225 ST1300 Vstrom 650
Name: Bruce
My Condolences Budman
RIP King.


I was thinking about these things the other day. I have two friends on meds for emotional struggles. I text them every day to let them know they aren’t alone.
__________________
Proud Dad of an RN.
To be Richer: Earn More or Desire Less.
I have abandoned my search for reality, and now I am looking for a good fantasy.
Namaste!
bruceflinch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 12:10 PM   #5
budman
General Menace
 
budman's Avatar
 
AMA Life Member #203453
Highway Aviator
Founding Member
Top Percent Poster
Community Contributor + BB
Moto Junkie

Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Palo Alto, Ca.
Motorcycles: A few here and there
Name: Budman
Quote:
Originally Posted by bruceflinch View Post
My Condolences Budman
RIP King.


I was thinking about these things the other day. I have two friends on meds for emotional struggles. I text them every day to let them know they aren’t alone.
That is good of you Bruce. I have some friends struggling with health issues that I reach out to often. One of them I took to lunch last weekend after he got released from the hospital again. Good time to text him and see how is doing.

Thanks
budman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 02:25 PM   #6
Ant
Pink Freud
 
Ant's Avatar
 
Contributor +

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Rural urban metropolis by the wayside
Motorcycles: BMW S1000XR
Name:
Some of the most nicest people you see or know can be carrying a very heavy weight inside of them and suffer in a painful silence that you aren't aware of. The holidays and this fast paced world we live in just adds to it.

Slow down a bit, say hi to strangers and take an extra moment to chat with a neighbor. Sometimes a small random act of contact is all someone in despair needs to push them in a better direction.
__________________
This segment was brought to you by the letter A
Ant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 02:34 PM   #7
rodr
IBA # 56746
 
rodr's Avatar
 
AMA #: 2846730
Contributor + + + +

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Oz
Motorcycles: 2016 CB500XA
Name: Rod
Damn. Sorry Dennis.
rodr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 02:39 PM   #8
bikeama
Super Moderator
 
bikeama's Avatar
 
AMA #: 1097
BARF Moderator
Contributor + 1%

Join Date: May 2008
Location: Stockton CA
Motorcycles: 2016 Multistrada ST
Name: Bill
My condolences. Thank you for the reminder, going to call an old friend who lost his wife last year.
bikeama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 02:40 PM   #9
HappyHighwayman
Blame Canada
 
HappyHighwayman's Avatar
 
Contributor

Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: San Francisco
Motorcycles: Rad Rover
Name: Jordan
It can be impossible to tell someone has depression. Look at Anthony Bourdain.
__________________
The Happy Highwayman

"Love is that feeling you get when you like something as much as your motorcycle"
- Hunter S. Thompson
HappyHighwayman is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 02:53 PM   #10
Johndicezx9
Rolls with it...
 
Johndicezx9's Avatar
 
Contributor ++

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Monterey Pen
Motorcycles: :o)
Name: John
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ant View Post
Some of the most nicest people you see or know can be carrying a very heavy weight inside of them and suffer in a painful silence that you aren't aware of. The holidays and this fast paced world we live in just adds to it.

Slow down a bit, say hi to strangers and take an extra moment to chat with a neighbor. Sometimes a small random act of contact is all someone in despair needs to push them in a better direction.
__________________
"I used to be 'with it', but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it', and what's 'it' seems weird and scary. It'll happen to you!"
Johndicezx9 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 06:23 PM   #11
Blankpage
alien
 
Blankpage's Avatar
 
Contributor +++

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: on assignment
Motorcycles: Once In a While
Name: Ay Caramba
Depression, the worst disease you can get


youtu.be/NOAgplgTxfc
Blankpage is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 06:24 PM   #12
afm199
Veteran
 
afm199's Avatar
 
Mod Alumni
Founding Member
Top Percent Poster
Contributor +++++++++ ++++++++++++++3%

Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Oaklamd
Motorcycles: Yamasuzhonaki 1450
Name: Beelzebub
Dennis, I'm sorry about your neighbor. This is a difficult season for many. I always struggle in the winter.
__________________
That's not true! The lie is actually the truth! I know. Lots of people know this.
afm199 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 06:35 PM   #13
AwakeNAlive
Veteran
 
AMA #: 2865228
Contributor +++++++++ + + + + + +

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: the Pacific Ocean
Motorcycles: a sea turtle
Name:
Sorry this happened so close to home, budman.


The holidays are great if you belong in a traditional nuclear family. The annual tradition of celebrating xmas can be quite comforting and enjoyable.


But for those who don't have family, are struggling with finances, have poor health, etc., it can be a very lonely time.


If you can, be nice and reach out to someone this holiday season, just to let them know they are valued for being just who they are.

And please don't put too much guilt on yourself for not being there for someone at the right time ...
__________________

"A meaningful silence is always better than meaningless words" --Positive Energy+

Last edited by AwakeNAlive; 12-12-2018 at 06:36 PM..
AwakeNAlive is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 08:54 PM   #14
bruceflinch
I love Da Whores
 
bruceflinch's Avatar
 
Contributor ++++++++++

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Bay Point
Motorcycles: Present: Cage Past 305SS RD400 CB500 RD250 CB360 XS650 R1200R XT225 ST1300 Vstrom 650
Name: Bruce
Quote:
Originally Posted by afm199 View Post
Dennis, I'm sorry about your neighbor. This is a difficult season for many. I always struggle in the winter.
Winter Blues is very common and well documented..
I had it in the past myself
__________________
Proud Dad of an RN.
To be Richer: Earn More or Desire Less.
I have abandoned my search for reality, and now I am looking for a good fantasy.
Namaste!
bruceflinch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2018, 09:46 PM   #15
Blankpage
alien
 
Blankpage's Avatar
 
Contributor +++

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: on assignment
Motorcycles: Once In a While
Name: Ay Caramba
I once dated a girl who had SAD. Started seeing each other in the spring and by fall she was getting kinda weird, crying and confused. She explained what was up but I didn't know how to help and wondered if I was part of the cause.
She was cool, we never had an argument or disagreement in the 6 months we were together.
She didn't want to leave her home town and I didn't want to stay. Never seen or heard from her again.
Blankpage is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:04 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.