Budman's on going joke fest - Page 74 - BARF

CDONA · 02-24-2021, 10:06 AM

TEXAS Freezes over

so much punchline potential,

I don't want to appear disaster tone deaf, for this but, , ,
BARF is still leaking snow

**budman** · 02-24-2021, 06:41 PM

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass ?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."

"Well, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,"
the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me.
They are over there eating grass under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the second poor man he stated,
"You may come with us, also."

The other man, in a pitiful voice, then said,
"But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task,
even for a car as large as the limousine.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place.
The grass is almost a foot high."

Mr Pepsi · 02-25-2021, 06:58 AM

ROFL, how did I not see that coming.

**budman** · 02-26-2021, 11:28 AM

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address.

He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.

Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope...

Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna
-----------------------

The postal worker was touched.

He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.

We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was $4 missing.

I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Lonster · 02-26-2021, 01:18 PM

afm199 · 03-03-2021, 06:05 PM

Lawyer joke #1 !!!!

02-24-2021, 10:06 AM	#1096
CDONA Home of Vortex tuning Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Based in Spearfish SD. rolled over there > Motorcycles: Triumph scrambler, TW200, Monkey Name: # 44659	TEXAS Freezes over so much punchline potential, I don't want to appear disaster tone deaf, for this but, , , BARF is still leaking snow __________________ "Chip Tank" in Hope Az. All I want for Xmas is my one vaccines Started hammerin' Honda 90's around Berryessa, Summer of Love '67

02-24-2021, 06:41 PM	#1097
budman General Menace AMA Life Member #203453 Highway Aviator Founding Member Top Percent Poster Community Contributor + BB Moto Junkie Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Palo Alto, Ca. Motorcycles: Keep me rocking life Name: Budman	HEART WARMING LAWYER STORY One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass ?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said. "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there eating grass under that tree." "Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the second poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also." The other man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!" "Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high." __________________ Your friendly neighborhood.... Budman BARF Terms of Service Be a BARF Contributor! Support those that support Barf! BARF Sponsors 1Rider introduction on KFOG Bone heads and bikers podcasts Racism and RIP threads on Barf - FYI Barf is more than a dub dub dub dealio Godspeed Mom Pit Ho Godspeed Nicky #69 Hoho AMA #203453

02-25-2021, 06:58 AM	#1098
Mr Pepsi Mr Pepsi (Brent) “GOT PEPSI?” Contributor +++++++++++++ Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: San Francisco, CA Motorcycles: "Razzi" 2009 Kawi Concours GTR1400 Name: Brent	ROFL, how did I not see that coming. __________________ Brent Johnson 2009 Kawasaki Concours 1400 "Razzi" Please donate to your local animal rescue, and always adopt to save a life.

02-26-2021, 11:28 AM	#1099
budman General Menace AMA Life Member #203453 Highway Aviator Founding Member Top Percent Poster Community Contributor + BB Moto Junkie Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Palo Alto, Ca. Motorcycles: Keep me rocking life Name: Budman	There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope... Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna ----------------------- The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read: Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office. __________________ Your friendly neighborhood.... Budman BARF Terms of Service Be a BARF Contributor! Support those that support Barf! BARF Sponsors 1Rider introduction on KFOG Bone heads and bikers podcasts Racism and RIP threads on Barf - FYI Barf is more than a dub dub dub dealio Godspeed Mom Pit Ho Godspeed Nicky #69 Hoho AMA #203453

02-26-2021, 01:18 PM	#1100
Lonster GaMMa RaNGeR AMA #: 305491 Budman's errand boy Barf Brick and smoking Contributor Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The Emerald Triangle Motorcycles: RG500 Gamma, 2020 KTM 890 Duke R, Lucky Strike 750, RD400, 525EXC-G SM Name: Lonster	__________________ Lnster R.I.P. Champ Nicky Hayden Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming– “Wow! What a Ride!” — Hunter S. Thompson

03-03-2021, 06:05 PM	#1101
afm199 Veteran Mod Alumni Founding Member Top Percent Poster Contributor +++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++3% Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Oaklamd Motorcycles: Yamasuzhonaki 1450 Name: Mikezebub	Lawyer joke #1 !!!! __________________ That's not true! The lie is actually the truth! I know. Lots of people know this.

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