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Old 06-10-2020, 11:14 AM   #1066
GsxrGregor
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Three immigrants, having recently emigrated to New York city find themselves in a bar together and are adjusting to their new home. The Russian strikes up a conversation with the other two, feeling nostalgic about his homeland.

"In St. Petersburg, I used to go to bar called Crazy Ivan's. At Crazy Ivans, after every 3rd drink you buy, Ivan give you shot of Vodka on ze house." The other two comrades nodded in approval.

The Italian spoke next. "Well datsa nice, but in Firenze we hada bar called Guiseppe's. Atta Guiseppe's, whena you buy a drink, Guiseppe woulda buy you a drink every time." Again, his fellows nodded approvingly.

Now the Irishman spoke. "Well boyos, now that amateur hour's over, let's talk about Murphy's in Dublin. When you go to Murphy's, they'll buy your first drink, they'll buy your second drink, they'll buy your third drink, and when ya tire of drinkin', they'll take you out in the back and get you laid!"

Astonished, the Russian and Italian ask the Irishman, "That's incredible! What're we doing here in NY when we could be drinking there? Did that actually happen to you?!"

"Nah," the Irishman says. "But it happened to me sister!"
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Old 06-10-2020, 11:21 AM   #1067
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Old 06-12-2020, 02:18 PM   #1068
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Four engineers were riding in the same car on the way to a technical trade show. The car breaks down on the way. The mechanical engineer says, "Man, I heard some rattling. I think that this motor is in need of a valve job."

The electrical engineer says, "No, I heard something odd. I think that your battery is the issue.

The chemical engineer says, "Do you guys smell that? I think that there might be some water in the fuel."

The software engineer says, "Guys, why don't we all to get out and get back in again?"
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Old 06-13-2020, 01:42 PM   #1069
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Old 06-13-2020, 07:17 PM   #1070
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Old 06-18-2020, 06:48 PM   #1071
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Seriously, it is not blood

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Hodaka Ace 90. I've been riding these things too long. What can I say? How about that Combat Wombat?

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Old 07-22-2020, 03:30 PM   #1072
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why do millennials love odd numbers?

because they can't even
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Old 07-24-2020, 08:08 PM   #1073
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lol
lots of good ones!
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Old 07-27-2020, 12:18 AM   #1074
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youtu.be/gIfVFc7PlxQ

The comments Indians hear from white people all the time.

The second half is funnier where the situation is reversed:

My favorite is “did your parents date, fall in love, and get married?” But among the younger generation of Indians born in Western cultures, they ask each other this question too.
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Old 07-30-2020, 06:58 PM   #1075
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....So you can fit more of them in a pickup truck.

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