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What Are You Thinking Of Right Now?

You guys keep bringing up the bad stuff.
Well, I wasn't an angel either.

You know that meme of the dorky looking blond kid in a red plaid sweater. Like that but more of a Frankenstein head. Most all the school picked on him. I was lucky being a big kid, but you know, numbers can suck. I remember when school got out, the walk home, and the group of kids walking behind, chanting Albino to the tune of Elvira...

The school bully wanted to fight, because for once I stepped in an made him stop picking on another kid on the bball court. He called me out. Remember that? This kid taught me how far ego can take someone. He was so confident, of course, because his gang of 20+ were always around. One condition, just me and him. The principal caught wind, gave us a lecture in his office, but acknowledged he could not do anything to stop it. The guy was right, we'd be talking about it later in life.

There must have been a hundred kids. That wasn't the deal. I wasn't going to fight, and I didn't no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't hit me. Too small. I bet that guy suffers from small man complex to this day. That's what his ego was overcompensating for. So many fights. It was ridiculous. We ended up breaking out the pellet guns. I had to have surgery.

The school was mostly black and there was a lot of racial tension. It broke loose one year. The largest black kid got pissed at me for what I do not remember, but I know I did something like not take his shit. This was a man child like the Rock. I was scared until Ernest, the school's biggest white kid, said HEY, and climbed down off the half dome monkey bars. The Rock was not going to go against me and Ernest. Eventually the cops all came and we had lockdowns. The riot never happened. And the Rock went to prison after bashing a mans head in with a rock on the rail tracks. That guy was going to kill me.

But back to plaid sweater. He was weird. I never did anything and just let it go. He found his father's revolver. I could have become his friend. Maybe. He was still weird.
 
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"The first love I had was 17 and I was younger.
Love to us was some kind of game.
In all my letters, I said I never would forget her.
I can't recall her name...."
 
What happened to the butterflies that used to flutter in my belly when he'd walk in the room?
 
they went back into their cocoon and will re emerge at any time.
or they need to be awoken.
Has the attraction minimized or is it nowhere to be found?
 
I think there's a day/hour/minute when the click happens. Your body can no longer deal with the constant stress and just disconnects and there is no turning back. Self preservation
 
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