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She cannot climax under any circumstances

Kestrel

Kestrel

Active member
Joined
Sep 9, 2005
Location
New Mexico
Moto(s)
DR350, WR250F
A hell of a way to start a thread, I know...

So I've been dating this girl for about a year now... After a couple of months, things took a turn toward the sexual direction and we've been... doing.. things... since then. Problem is, she cannot seem to achieve orgasm under any circumstances. I've dated before, and she isn't the first. I've always made it a priority to ensure that my partners have the most pleasurable experiences possible, and I've never failed before. They've always been immensely satisfied.

But she just cannot seem to have an orgasm. It doesn't seem to matter *what* I do. Sex in a variety of situations or positions, oral sex, extremely stimulating foreplay.. None of it makes a difference. I've read that 10-15% of women are completely unable to do so. I just never expected that it would happen to somebody *I* was dating.

I felt inadequate at first, and wondered if my technique had taken a turn for the worst somewhere along the way, but now I'm starting to suspect that it may simply be that I'm trying to do the impossible here.

I threw caution to the wind last week, and ordered the infamous Magic Wand.

Nope. No dice. :|

Help - Seriously... Any advice would be more than welcome. It has absolutely destroyed any sort of sexual satisfaction that I'm getting out of this relationship.
 
Try rubbing her while you're having sex. Can she have an orgasm by herself? If so, have her rub herself while having sex.
 
Sounds obvious, but must be asked.

Have you tried talking to her? Ask her what works for her and what you can do better?
Maybe she just might tell you she's never gone there before.... :dunno
 
VTRZA said:
Stick it in her pooper
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This is exactly what I thought of when reading the tread title. Maybe she's a closet lesbian? Maybe she is not attracted to you--and not actually being truthful about it?

I assume you've talked with her, maybe consider sex therapy, or something else?

Tantra?
Kama Sutra?

Leave her?

Best of luck.
 
Sounds like a defective girl cuz the chick I've been seeing for almost a year now turned to the sexual direction on our second date.....which was actually on my birfday.

gluck to ya.
 
Maybe she masturbates to much and her toys are super-sized turbo models? :laughing

Or has maybe she has to be mentally turned on first? :p

Or maybe she's just lesbian and doesn't know it yet? :laughing
 
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Question: Can she bring herself to orgasm? On her own, without you there.
 
She's not a closet lesbian. Of course, there is plenty of attention given to all parts of her body as much as I can possibly manage with the limbs and mouth I've got. Nothing is neglected, and believe me - I'm not overly focusing on any one particular area, and skipping the others.

We've talked about it. She's never been able to achieve orgasm - either with a partner, or alone - and she has absolutely no idea what the problem may be. Sadly, it is beginning to bother her at this point, as she feels that there is something inherently wrong with her.
 
Kestrel said:
She's not a closet lesbian. Of course, there is plenty of attention given to all parts of her body as much as I can possibly manage with the limbs and mouth I've got. Nothing is neglected, and believe me - I'm not overly focusing on any one particular area, and skipping the others.

We've talked about it. She's never been able to achieve orgasm - either with a partner, or alone - and she has absolutely no idea what the problem may be. Sadly, it is beginning to bother her at this point, as she feels that there is something inherently wrong with her.
Click to expand...

Then she's probably one of those rare woman who have a medical condition called FOD (Female Orgasm Disorder) that prevents them from reaching orgasm.

http://www.healthline.com/galecontent/female-orgasmic-disorder

Edit: In other words there is nothing you can do to help her besides having her seek medical help from a doctor.
 
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Sounds like she needs to spend some time with herself to figure a few things out.
 
Kestrel said:
A hell of a way to start a thread, I know...

So I've been dating this girl for about a year now... After a couple of months, things took a turn toward the sexual direction and we've been... doing.. things... since then. Problem is, she cannot seem to achieve orgasm under any circumstances. I've dated before, and she isn't the first. I've always made it a priority to ensure that my partners have the most pleasurable experiences possible, and I've never failed before. They've always been immensely satisfied.

But she just cannot seem to have an orgasm. It doesn't seem to matter *what* I do. Sex in a variety of situations or positions, oral sex, extremely stimulating foreplay.. None of it makes a difference. I've read that 10-15% of women are completely unable to do so. I just never expected that it would happen to somebody *I* was dating.

I felt inadequate at first, and wondered if my technique had taken a turn for the worst somewhere along the way, but now I'm starting to suspect that it may simply be that I'm trying to do the impossible here.

I threw caution to the wind last week, and ordered the infamous Magic Wand.

Nope. No dice. :|

Help - Seriously... Any advice would be more than welcome. It has absolutely destroyed any sort of sexual satisfaction that I'm getting out of this relationship.
Click to expand...


I feel for you man. Been in your shoes. Took it as a personal challenge to make this one girl cum, but after months of trying everything (including bringing another girl to play) no dice. We then parted ways frustrated.

Years later I started seeing her again. Funny thing is, she enjoys sex very much, and is 'extremely' good at pleasing me. This time around, just not focusing on making her cum, and just enjoying the sex. The sex is always fucking awesome. I think she tries harder to please than most girls. I still see her whenever I'm in her town.

My advice to you is just don't worry about her orgasm so much. Some girls are just built that way and nothing you can do about it. Please her with massage, and being extra loving and attentive. You stressing out over it, will just make her feel bad. If you love this girl, and she satisfies you. Stay with her, and be happy she satisfies you. I know it 'feels' selfish, you getting to cum and her not. But you shouldn't toss her aside like she is broken. As that is really selfish.

So the real question is, does she enjoy being intimate with you. Does she make you cum, and satisfy you? If so, its not a real problem, just a problem in your mind.
 
Maybe she just needs the proper atmosphere.. :laughing

vikings.jpg
 
She will almost certainly need some time with a professional sex therapist, and/or a few specific self-help books and a lot of slow, pressure-free solo practice. In the meantime, don't try to get her to have an orgasm. Don't bother the clitoris, and don't overdo it on the nipple play. A woman's entire body can be an erogenous zone. Just try to give her lots of all-over physical pleasure. Let her know you're not going to try to hammer the big O out of her. Long, slow tickle-strokes along the sides of her body, nibble-lick down her back, make love to her slowly, grinding a bit up close. Really concentrate on the sensual experience for her, not the sexual one.

Poor girl. I can't imagine what that must be like. I had my first orgasm when I was nine.

However, I certainly don't always have an orgasm when I have sex--and here's something surprising. Sometimes I don't want to. I'll want to have sex, and I enjoy the experience, and have a great time, but have no desire to have an actual orgasm. And that's totally fine. And this is true for many women. So don't feel like the only way you can derive sexual satisfaction from being with her is through making/assisting her to have an orgasm.
 
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Horse said:
My advice to you is just don't worry about her orgasm so much. Some girls are just built that way and nothing you can do about it. Please her with massage, and being extra loving and attentive. You stressing out over it, will just make her feel bad. If you love this girl, and she satisfies you. Stay with her, and be happy she satisfies you. I know it 'feels' selfish, you getting to cum and her not. But you shouldn't toss her aside like she is broken. As that is really selfish.

So the real question is, does she enjoy being intimate with you. Does she make you cum, and satisfy you? If so, its not a real problem, just a problem in your mind.
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This sounds right to me. Don't stress, enjoy yourself, be kind, maybe she'll figure things out eventually.
 
Ugh, I don't know how old she is but I'm so sad she hasn't been able to experience such an awesome thing. :(

This is something you will not be able to solve. I agree with Horse...stop trying so hard to make her cum, it will only frustrate the both of you when you do not succeed.

This is something she NEEDS to broach with her doctor, who can help her figure out if the problem is physiologic or psychologic...and get her the appropriate help. Hopefully you are close enough that you can encourage her to do so. Even if you just turn out to be the guy who convinces her to seek help, you will be a huge positive influence on her life. Good Luck!!!
 
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