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So I first spotted these little bastards in my backyard about 8 months ago. I thought maybe it was a side effect if dehydration because I had been eating nothing but crayons and mescaline for three days. I decided to wait and to give it another chance so I blew it off. Two days later they were on my front porch when I came outside to puke up some mushrooms so I pulled the carrot peeler from my underwear (I was in casual defiler mode at the time, which requires no pants) and I caught one so I pryed his fucking eyes out and that's when they started singing. Rotten little fuckers singing all the time now. Apparently you have to pull their eyes out so they can sing through their bloody little bastard sockets. I'm sure they ate my cat. They're all waiting for me on the front porch now singing "Candle in the wind," so I have to fucking get into and out of the house by way of a rope I made out of towels in the rear second story bathroom window. Fat little bastards can't climb. I miss my cat. Bastards.
(I'll try to remember)
that was straight crack talk
