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can you stay in a sexless relationship/marriage..?

HIglesias said:
i know my wife has told me, if i get into a wreck and get paralyzed, she wouldn't leave me, but to expect some other dick in her life :|. i'm still not sure how to feel about that.
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That sounds to me like she's somewhat passive-aggressively telling you she doesn't like you riding, and wishes you'd stop :laughing
 
Handjobs and whatnot totally count btw. If you have some kind of medical condition or neurosis that makes you unable to engage in penetrative intercourse, and/or unable to orgasm, but SOME kind of good time is being had by somebody, even if it's only the other person getting off + you getting some kind of satisfaction out of helping them out with that, that's still sex. Enough for people to make it work.
 
V4 said:
so a friend of mine is depressed about being in a sexless marriage...

they've been married now for almost 20 years and out from left field, she just stopped having sex....period...cold turkey...zilch...zippo..nadda.....

not even a hand job..

while he says he loves her, he has his needs and thinking about having an affair and if the affair leads to something more serious, he may break off the marriage and pursue a happier life....

kinda sad cuz i knew them both before they were married and both are good friends...

can you barfers stay in a relationship that doesn't have anymore of the primitive urges...?

and yes ..she's hawt in a very exotic way....
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You're only getting half the story, or less. It's anyone's guess what the rest of it is. But if she's in fact turned it off irrevocably, then it doesn't really matter and the conclusion is simple, though painful. It's over.

Lotsa luck with the affair route. Very few women will want to sign up for that.

As for me, no I wouldn't if I know in advance that it will remain sexless. In real life, details are messy.
 
Was in a similar situation, although we were only together for just under 2 years.

Sexors stopped. I thought I could fix whatever was wrong in the relationship. Wrong. Wasted my time. She was cheating.

Never again will I waste my time, or maybe she just wasn't worth the hassle. A relationship without sex is friendship.


Goodluck to your bud
 
rodr said:
You're only getting half the story, or less. It's anyone's guess what the rest of it is.
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not that I can go ask her why she's not putting out so of course, I'm only getting HIS side of the story....

i try to be understanding and supportive to my friend while i'm laughing inside thinking he's one non-hitting-it-anymore-mofo....:party
 
F4iChic said:
I see six well thought out and compassionate responses in this thread

I also see a load of garbage
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:rofl
V4, and his friend "sexless" aren't looking for compassion.
Be an adult and work out your problems, or allow a pinch hitter.
 
yes, i am looking for compassion so if any wimmenz wanna help prevent me from being sexless, please let me know...

thnx..
 
How old is the woman in question? Could be a menopause issue if she's late 40's. There are ways around that if she's interested.

Could be that she's not interested for another reason that may or may not involve another person (male or female).

Has he asked her directly what is going on? It's amazing how many people simply cannot just ask and how long they'll go through stress that could have been avoided.

In any of the cases, it may or may not be fixable. Best course of action is to understand the issue, the long term possibilities and make a decision if needed.

My :2cents
 
Is the gardener over twice a week, yet the front yard looks like the Amazon?

Pool truck parked outside, and they don't have a pool?

Is Domino's calling their house for pizza delivery?
 
bluenoser said:
Is the gardener over twice a week, yet the front yard looks like the Amazon?

Pool truck parked outside, and they don't have a pool?

Is Domino's calling their house for pizza delivery?
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:rofl
 
Climber said:
How old is the woman in question? Could be a menopause issue if she's late 40's. There are ways around that if she's interested.

Could be that she's not interested for another reason that may or may not involve another person (male or female).

Has he asked her directly what is going on? It's amazing how many people simply cannot just ask and how long they'll go through stress that could have been avoided.

In any of the cases, it may or may not be fixable. Best course of action is to understand the issue, the long term possibilities and make a decision if needed.

My :2cents
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This.
 
MysterYvil said:
Given that they've been married for 20 years, I'll assume that puts her in her 40s or 50s. Not uncommon for the sex drive to go through wild things at that point.

I recommend straight-up communication betweeen the two and/or counseling. There may be all kinds of issues at play here.

As far as it being a sign of her cheating, that might be, but just as easily it might be her own libido, body-image, something between the couple, et cetera. Cheating is only one of many, many reasons that partners stop being intimate with partners.

Finally, perhaps your friend can come to an accommodation that allows him to stay in the marriage but still get his needs met elsewhere? In many marriages, sexual intimacy is only one minor component, and shitcanning an otherwise good relationship over one facet is counterproductive. (Granted, my friends and acquaintances tend to be in a different category, but I've seen a fair number of relationships/marriages prosper in spite of one or both partners "stepping out" for sex.)
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mike23w said:
i agree with this. lack of sex shouldn't break up a marriage.

she doesn't want sex.
he does.

he should communicate his needs and try to reach an agreement where she puts out or he finds it elsewhere.

this only works if the woman is secure in the relationship and trusts him which is often not the case.
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Climber said:
How old is the woman in question? Could be a menopause issue if she's late 40's. There are ways around that if she's interested.

Could be that she's not interested for another reason that may or may not involve another person (male or female).

Has he asked her directly what is going on? It's amazing how many people simply cannot just ask and how long they'll go through stress that could have been avoided.

In any of the cases, it may or may not be fixable. Best course of action is to understand the issue, the long term possibilities and make a decision if needed.

My :2cents
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I'm noticing a common theme of communication. Could I stay in a sexless relationship, probably not. It has been a problem in the past for either me or the partner of the time.

I've also seen relationships be in bad situations or end. But again, common theme is communication, I find it VERY healthy that the partners have a good communication dialogue. It creates less stress for everyone in the long term by getting everything of concern out in the open. Even if its not something you want to hear, you know its a problem rather than leaving one partner suffering or both secretly suffering.
 
Nope. I'd make attempts at communication with the intent to restore the sex0rs like counseling and shit. But if they didn't come back then it would be over.
 
yodaisgod said:
She's cheating on him. Probably more emotionally than physically at this point. But it could lead to more.

As for the dude....hookers and blow.
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Fucking A god damn right she's getting her cunt slant drilled by some other dude. Tell your boy that, and he should be out gettin his.
 
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