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Catholic Church sets up an exorcist hotline to deal with demand

budgie45

panty sniffer
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here and there
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The Catholic Church has established an exorcist hotline in Milan, its biggest diocese, to cope with demand. Monsignor Angelo Mascheroni, the diocese’s chief exorcist since 1995, said the curia had also appointed twice as many exorcists to cope with a doubling in the number of requests for help over 15 years.

“We get many requests for names, addresses and phone numbers; that’s why we’ve set up a switchboard in the curia from Monday to Friday from 2.30pm to 5pm,” he told the chiesadimilano website.


“People in need can call and will be able to find a priest in the same area who doesn’t have to travel too far.” And to that end, the number of demon-busting priests on call has increased from six to 12.


The Monsignor said he knew of one exorcist who had been seeing up to 120 people a day. “But with so little time per client he was only able to offer a quick blessing. That’s not enough,” he said. ”There should be two to four appointments a day, no more, otherwise it’s too much.”


It’s not clear why the number of suspected possessions has risen so sharply. But Monsignor Mascheroni said that part of the increase might be explained by the rising numbers of parents having difficulty controlling disobedient teenagers.


“Usually the parents call [because they are] concerned about a child who won’t go to school or who’s taking drugs or rebelling. In reality it’s not a demon, but when they’re 18 years old young people don’t want to be told what to do.”


He warned that many worried and vulnerable people were at risk from charlatans. “Magicians demand money; we ? give our time, give benediction ? all for free. It couldn’t be any other way.”


The Monsignor said that all those who sought help were welcomed. But he added: “The real diabolical phenomena, at least in my experience, are very rare.” He said that “mental phenomena, mental and psychiatric disorders” were often to blame for unusual behaviour.


Not all Catholic exorcists take such a pragmatic approach, however. Father Gabriele Amorth, who was the Vatican’s chief exorcist for 25 years, claims to have dealt with 70,000 cases of demonic possession.


Father Amorth said that sex abuse scandals in the Roman Catholic Church were proof that “the Devil is at work inside the Vatican”. He also claimed that satanic behaviour lay behind Vatican attempts to “cover up” the deaths of Alois Estermann, then commander of the Swiss Guard, his wife and another Swiss Guard, Corporal Cedric Tornay, in 1998.


Father Amorth also took a dim view of fantasy novels and yoga. Practising the latter, he once warned, was “satanic; it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter”.



The act of exorcism: Catholic practice
Defined by the Catholic Encyclopaedia as “the act of driving out, or warding off, demons, or evil spirits, from persons, places, or things which are believed to be possessed or infested by them, or are liable to become victims or instruments of their malice,” exorcism has been practised by the Church for centuries, but its use has increased dramatically over the last half century.

:laughing
 
Good. I'm reporting a few barfers for a good ousting and soul cleansing..! :thumbup
 
I'll take it over the politics ones.

Ruling on the field is overturned, Budgie does not lose a timeout.
 
Irish, was this translated from gaelic? Because there are some strange parts. No matter. This part is really good. :thumbup
Father Amorth also took a dim view of fantasy novels and yoga. Practising the latter
:party
 
Father Amorth also took a dim view of fantasy novels and yoga. Practising the latter, he once warned, was “satanic; it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter”.

father amorth needs to go on the harry potter ride at universal studios in orlando. it's the best thing about both harry potter and orlando. and florida for that matter.
 
I bet Father Amorth would be much more interested in riding Harry Potter than reading Harry Potter.
 
A snickers and a drink of the alter wine:twofinger

Might as well tell the whole joke-
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by Father Amorth. Father Amorth asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."

Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I have truly sinned, I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."

Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does Father Amorth give for oral sex?"

The altar boy replied, "Two Snickers and a Coke!"
 
Don't lump us Protestants in there.

All in the same boat. If you do not take every page of the Old and New Testament as strict literal and historical fact, you're not a Christian and just confused. If you are a Christian, you MUST accept that demons can possess men and they can be driven out by the power of your lord as described in Luke 11:14 and Mark 1:23. If you do not think we all come from the Ark of Noah by the lords grace after the flood, you are not a Christian. If you believe that Jonah did not live in the whale, you are not a Christian. The list goes on, but yeah, Christians are all fucking crazy. I mean, Jesus didn't even actually exist as an actual character in history, he's completely fictional.
 
Might as well tell the whole joke-
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by Father Amorth. Father Amorth asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."

Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I have truly sinned, I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."

Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does Father Amorth give for oral sex?"

The altar boy replied, "Two Snickers and a Coke!"


Our local priest in Belfast used to charge a 6 pack of beer to bless your house..He ran about in a Tshirt.If you didnt know he was the local priest.he just looked like a normal bloke
 
All in the same boat. If you do not take every page of the Old and New Testament as strict literal and historical fact, you're not a Christian and just confused. If you are a Christian, you MUST accept that demons can possess men and they can be driven out by the power of your lord as described in Luke 11:14 and Mark 1:23. If you do not think we all come from the Ark of Noah by the lords grace after the flood, you are not a Christian. If you believe that Jonah did not live in the whale, you are not a Christian. The list goes on, but yeah, Christians are all fucking crazy. I mean, Jesus didn't even actually exist as an actual character in history, he's completely fictional.

or - those old timers were speaking in metaphors, and jesus was just another average dude trying to make a difference.
 
All in the same boat. If you do not take every page of the Old and New Testament as strict literal and historical fact, you're not a Christian and just confused. If you are a Christian, you MUST accept that demons can possess men and they can be driven out by the power of your lord as described in Luke 11:14 and Mark 1:23. If you do not think we all come from the Ark of Noah by the lords grace after the flood, you are not a Christian. If you believe that Jonah did not live in the whale, you are not a Christian. The list goes on, but yeah, Christians are all fucking crazy. I mean, Jesus didn't even actually exist as an actual character in history, he's completely fictional.

Wow. Says the guy who believes in a bunch of Marvel Comics characters..! :laughing
 
All in the same boat. If you do not take every page of the Old and New Testament as strict literal and historical fact, you're not a Christian and just confused. If you are a Christian, you MUST accept that demons can possess men and they can be driven out by the power of your lord as described in Luke 11:14 and Mark 1:23. If you do not think we all come from the Ark of Noah by the lords grace after the flood, you are not a Christian. If you believe that Jonah did not live in the whale, you are not a Christian. The list goes on, but yeah, Christians are all fucking crazy. I mean, Jesus didn't even actually exist as an actual character in history, he's completely fictional.

Oh, I love when a trolling atheist tells me what I MUST believe or that I'm not a christian.

Sorry dood. Was born at night, but...

Who's up for another round of crusades?:party
 
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