And I'm a handsome son of a bitch
I tell you people I was not ready
When I fucked this dyke by the name of Freddie
She made a little speech then,
Aw, she tried to make me say "when"
She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick
I guess its still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick
Oh God I am the American dream
But now I smell like vaseline
And I'm a miserable sonofabitch
Am I a boy or a lady...I don't know which
(I wonder wonder, wonder wonder)
So I went out n bought me a leisure suit
I jingle my change, but I'm still kinda cute
Got a job doin' radio promos
An none of the jocks can even tell I'm a
homo
Eventually me n a friend
Sorta drifted along into S&M
I can take about an hour on the tower of power
long as I gets a little golden shower
Oh God I am the American dream
With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
And I'll do anything to get ahead
I lay awake nights sayin' "thank you, Fred!"
Oh god, oh god, I'm so fantastic!
Thanks to Freddie, I'm a sexual spastic
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now, I'm goin' down,