Wow. Yeah, this is one of the good things about BARF: we do bring it all here.
At home, one of my jobs is to bury people. I've been someone who does this in one way or another since I was a teenager. We have particular roles for people and particular practices and such and it all takes several days.
Everything we do does have a purpose. It may not be important for each and every person, but still, it may be important for one: if Joe knows that Jim's *entire funeral process* was taken care of properly, Joe knows that we respected Jim as well as we could. So, Joe knows that, literally, at the end of the day, we respect Joe too simply because he *is* and because he *is one of us*.
Too, because the entire funeral process takes days, lots of people can come and contribute and share and grieve in ways that work for them. For some people it's a real mind fuck and it can take the full time to begin to come to terms with the loss. So having multiple parts of the "whole funeral process" helps them. Others need things like physical activity (grave digging) or contribution (donations, cooking) to deal and carry "their part" of the burden.
Another thing that we do that I think many others don't is to include children and families through the whole process. Everyone at every age has things to learn and share. One of the biggest things is to really learn that by living we do have to accept death in our lives.
Some things we do that others don't are things like clean the house, down to even removing nails from the walls, and destroying the *personal* possessions of the deceased. Implicitly here, there are ideas of preparing to start again *without the deceased* and respect for the family (so that they don't have to be subject to being reminded of the deceased by seeing someone else wearing their favorite shirt, et c.)
These too are part of the grieving process that (in essesnce) are set up to respect the deceased *and* the living and to help the living both deal with the loss *and* to learn to live without their loved one.
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However, for your actual questions:
... Is the viewing an important step in the grieving process?
As such, I don't think it has to be. BUT there are lots of different traditions and practices. Every people decides their own and I do my best to respect it.
... As its a kid we're talking about, would you want to see the body should a tragedy happen? Would you just want to move on and grieve? ...
I want the funeral to proceed as the family wants it. They're going to have the most difficult time, so they should decide what works best for them.
If it's my child or my family, *I* would want everything to be normal according to our processes.
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One thing that I *do* have trouble with is going to a funeral when there is not burial. For me, part of the grieving process is bringing the entire funeral process to an end with the burial. *Not* completing it leaves an open emotional wound. (Other acts of completion would prolly work for me too, like cremation, or a funeral pyre, or a burial at sea...)
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Is any of this useful? I hope so.
arty
