I'm not trying in any way to be mean here, but if you don't have friends, real friends, you're either boring, have some very bad or annoying traits, or you lack social skills. It's also possible that you're simply not putting yourself out there, how are you going to find friends by sitting at home and playing video games?
I do have real friends.(as mentioned in previous posts) The majority live elsewhere, making it very diffcult to get together to go to dinner or do stuff with. I do have a couple in the bay area that are married, engaged, etc etc. I realize that you are not trying to be mean or the like. From what I can tell, though we all have quirks, I am not boring or have any people repelling traits that I am aware of. As far as putting myself out there...I have tried and the result ends up being the same. Granted, as I do evaluate myself and my behaviors, I have not seen any reactions or other people's behavior that lead me to believe I am extremely annoying or the like
This is my viewpoint on the subject, rather than an attack on you as an individual. You're asking about when to let go, but the real problem is you can't find someone who wants to be around you, correct?
I am aware that this is your viewpoint and not an attack. It is very much appreciated as that and I am not taking any offense to what you have said. I am not sure if it is that they don't want to be around me or I have been compartmentalized in their life. I think, after reflecting to it all while responding to you post, it is more a case of having a lot of acquaintances vs. people I hang out with on a regular basis or that reach out to me vs. me reaching out to them.
You need to know who you want to be around, that's the first thing, what type of person, what qualities do they posses, what are their interests? Then you need to imagine what type of person you would need to be to interest them. The people you're cutting yourself off from aren't necessarily the problem, it's entirely possible, I'd say likely if it's more than a couple people that treat you the same way, that you are. It seems like you're trying to use them to fill a void in yourself, just as they are trying to use you to fill a need they have.
I, definitely, get your point on this one, and it could be very true. Before I moved up here, I did have a close set of friends. I ended up in the Bay Area for school, and for a long while my priority was school and work. So, I guess in that, I missed a lot of opportunity to make Bay Area friends, which could be a part of the downfall because most people my age, have their set of friends, or their lives pretty much in place....
People always use each other, if you just wanted company, you could donate time to an old folks home and sacrifice your time to listen to somebody drone on and on about their past exploits, but that's not what you've done, you want someone interesting and fun to use for your enjoyment, correct?
But perhaps I'm misinterpreting things.
It isn't about just wanting company. I realize that we all "use" each other for whatever reason...but if you are choosing to apply the word "use" to the fulfillment of being in a friendship, then I guess Yes, I want to find a situation where there is, for the most part, mutually beneficial use of each other for entertainment and enjoyment.
