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would you allow your in-laws tell you what to do in your own house..?

My Sister & Brother-in-law hound the Nephews family with recommendations. Their wife's fume each time the in-law tell them to do stuff. :mad
As their uncle I can tell em do anything, usual stupid stuff tho :laughing
 
Godsdarling said:
Yes, I would do what they asked and I would have done it with a smile on my own face.

1 because they are getting old, they won't be around much longer and I'll spoil them while I can. 2. It wasn't such a big deal. Her friends are probably old as well, it is harder to walk farther when you are old. So I would have let them park as close as they want. 3. I would have wanted them to have drinks and sit together to have fun. I would have done all that without them asking. I would have asked and gotten what she wanted to drink before she even came over. I make sure I have what they like when my in laws vist.

We won't have our parents forever, it would have made the visit go nicely if he showed some courtesy. It was HER birthday. Respect and love will cover a lot.
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The stereotypical azn MIL attitude for scenarios like this makes doing the right thing very difficult. Doing all of these tasks are expectations and often never get a thank you...more of "ok now my party is bearable, let's go over how I disapprove of how you are raising your kids"
 
Godsdarling said:
Yes, I would do what they asked and I would have done it with a smile on my face.

1 because they are getting old, they won't be around much longer and I'll spoil them while I can. 2. It wasn't such a big deal. Her friends are probably old as well, it is harder to walk farther when you are old. So I would have let them park as close as they want. 3. I would have wanted them to have drinks and sit together to have fun. I would have done all that without them asking. I would have asked and gotten what she wanted to drink before she even came over. I make sure I have what they like when my in laws vist.

We won't have our parents forever, it would have made the visit go nicely if he showed some courtesy. It was HER birthday. Respect and love will cover a lot.
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I would tend to agree. How old is the MIL? Why agree to host a party for someone and not make it to their liking? It sounds like she wanted an old fashioned sitting party (I just made that up) where everyone just sits around and bullshits/gossips. Ideally there'd be kids around to silently serve and pour drinks. They are expectations from a differ era. Dumping some chips in a bowl and making soda and beer available for a bunch of old people isn't really giving a good party.

Then again, who says only the younger generations are entitled? Sounds like there was plenty of it to go around on this one.
 
Godsdarling said:
Yes, I would do what they asked and I would have done it with a smile on my face.

1 because they are getting old, they won't be around much longer and I'll spoil them while I can. 2. It wasn't such a big deal. Her friends are probably old as well, it is harder to walk farther when you are old. So I would have let them park as close as they want. 3. I would have wanted them to have drinks and sit together to have fun. I would have done all that without them asking. I would have asked and gotten what she wanted to drink before she even came over. I make sure I have what they like when my in laws vist.

We won't have our parents forever, it would have made the visit go nicely if he showed some courtesy. It was HER birthday. Respect and love will cover a lot.
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I get where you are coming from. However:

SHe pre-empted his chance to "show courtesy." Also, just how old are they?

My Dad is 83, so, your take works and I do shine on quite a bit knowing this could be our last visit. But I'm not sure the MIL in question isn't going to be around making demands for decades. If so, you have to get over the unpleasantness immediately, nip it in the bud, rather than comply and spend years regretting being a doormat.
 
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Know what the difference between in-laws and outlaws are?

Outlaws are wanted.

My grandfather thought he was helping when he did little repairs to changes to my dad's house...however, my dad saw it as someone disrespecting the fact that it was his house. HIS. My dad wouldn't so much as change a light bulb in someone's place without asking them.
 
V4 said:
say you and your wife/husband bought a house together...

your home is your castle..period...

your inlaws come visit the house and always telling you what should be done, go do this, that, etc...

would you take that crap or tell your inlaws to STFU..?

this weekend, my buddy had a bday party for his mother in law...not that he wanted to...she is telling him to move the cars in the garage out so her friends have a place to park and convenient for them...she tells him he needs to move some chairs and furniture around so it's easy for HER friends to sit together....she wants him to go buy nice white wine instead of beer and soda for dinner for her friends but she's not giving any money for it..

she even went as far as telling me and some others to start moving the furniture around and move some stuff out of the way because my buddy isn't move fast enough for her...

we basically told her it's not our house to move shit around ...she gets huffy so we tell her to go fuck herself, basically...

she tells us to serve wine for her friends and i told her in front of them if they can come this far by themselves, they can walk a few feet to get their own damn food and drinks....

basically the weekend was a disaster for him...

would you take that crap from your inlaws...? i was once married and knew it was time to divorce when i found myself kicking my father in law...
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It's her bday party. It's her day and if she wants some shit moved for her party STFU and do it. She isn't asking them to paint the house or sell a car.
 
Well, there are limits. Never personally experienced it but I wouldn't tolerate it much either. If there is an adversarial relationship there, maybe the best course of action would be to remediate that by showing some courtesy and throwing them a bone once in a while.

Maybe the lady can't help that she was raised under the same stern and controlling standards. She doesn't know any better. An adult discussion with control of emotions may be enough to find a compromise.

Possibly, something as simple as a bottle of wine, scotch or bourbon will do the trick. Try stopping at her place and offering help to fix different things.

If worse comes to worse, there is always the bring her a pillow method.

What's that you ask?

It is when you bring her a pillow as she naps and quickly and forcefully smother the living breath out of her so that she rests eternally.
 
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