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Budman's on going joke fest

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class and today her teacher was fed up. The teacher called on her when she was napping. Tell me April, who created the universe? When April didn’t react, little Johnny, who was seated behind her, took a pen and jabbed her in the rear. 'God almighty' shouted April. 'Very good' says the teacher. And April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April who is our lord and savior? Again, April was unresponsive. Once again Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her. 'Jesus Christ' shouted April, and the teacher said 'very good', and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. What did Eve say to Adam after she had her 23rd child? And again Johnny jabbed her with the pen. This time the teacher faints after April jumps up and shouts ‘if you stick that fucking thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half and shove it up your ass.’


That is great...:laughing

I love little Johnny jokes. :thumbup
 
Isn't this the " Budman's on going joke fest" thread? :))
 
Yes it is. Consolidation of content is one of my goals so historically we can enjoy.

Little Johnny met this guy named Lonster and…. I can go on bro :laughing.
 
Everyone knows who Karl Marx is but not many know that his sister, Anya was also famous. She was a gold medal Olympic runner. To this day, her name is announced at the start of every race.
 
Everyone knows who Karl Marx is but not many know that his sister, Anya was also famous. She was a gold medal Olympic runner. To this day, her name is announced at the start of every race.

I did not know that
 
One evening, after the honeymoon, Bob was working on his Harley motorcycle in the garage.

His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally said, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we’re married, maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage.

You probably should consider selling your Harley and all that welding equipment; they take up so much of your time.

And that gun collection and fishing gear, they just take up so much space.

And you know the boat is such an ongoing expense; and you hardly use it.

I also think you should lose all those stupid model airplanes and your home brewing equipment..."And what’s the use of that vintage hot rod sports car?

Bob got a horrified look on his face.

She noticed and said, "Darling, what's wrong?"

He replied, "You were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!?" she shouted, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"

Bob replied, “I wasn't..."
 
Rider spent a fun day riding his Buell. He arrived at home and parked his bike in the garage. Unfortunately, he forgot to close the garage door. As he was drinking his morning coffee, it dawned on him that he didn't close the garage door yesterday. With a heavy heart, he peeked into the garage expecting to find his bike gone. To his suprise, there were 2 more Buells parked next to his.
 
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One evening, after the honeymoon, Bob was working on his Harley motorcycle in the garage.

His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally said, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we’re married, maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage.

You probably should consider selling your Harley and all that welding equipment; they take up so much of your time.

And that gun collection and fishing gear, they just take up so much space.

And you know the boat is such an ongoing expense; and you hardly use it.

I also think you should lose all those stupid model airplanes and your home brewing equipment..."And what’s the use of that vintage hot rod sports car?

Bob got a horrified look on his face.

She noticed and said, "Darling, what's wrong?"

He replied, "You were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!?" she shouted, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"

Bob replied, “I wasn't..."

Ha ha, women, right?

:rolleyes

I swear some of these jokes go around in boomer chain emails :laughing
 
Of course they do because boomers like to laugh at a well written joke vs watching the 5 second TikFuk ones. :teeth

Most of us can write in script too. :laughing
 
Of course they do because boomers like to laugh at a well written joke vs watching the 5 second TikFuk ones. :teeth

Most of us can write in script too. :laughing

There is so much good stuff here. Huge smiles. And yet, I cannot bring myself to forward any. That would be just so I don’t know. I don’t know something something something.
 
There are definitely some gems. The "nagging wife" trope is pretty tired.
 
So , this lady golfer at the , Willie Nelson school of golf comes running into the club house ,

screaming about a bee stung her & the pro asks where , & she says , "between the first & second hole" ....

And the pro says , "Well , I can tell you right now , your stance was too wide "
 
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