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Budman's on going joke fest

One day a father gets out of work, and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He dashes over to a toy shop and asks the sales person: "how much for one of those Barbies in the display window?" The salesperson returns: "which one do you mean, Sir? We have Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $199.95." The amazed father asks: "how much?! Why is the divorced Barbie $199.95 and the others only $19.95?" The annoyed salesperson sighs and answers: "Sir, the other Barbies only come with an outfit. Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and one of Ken's best friends."
 
When the kid went to bed last night, the wife and I sat down on the couch. I looked at her, she looked at me, and we started going at it. We almost fell off the couch. She got up and I followed her into the bedroom. We kept at it for what felt like a couple hours. Finally I tapped out, I was exhausted. After a couple minutes she looked over at me and called me a Sex Machine.

Well, her exact words were "You're a fucking tool!", but I knew what she meant.
 
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