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A very embarrassing moment in my life this morning..

Just go back and bury it with yer little folding shovel, soldier, and all is forgotten.

I'm just glad you didn't get caught. Being human is not a crime. And..well....you-know-what happens on occasion.
 
Buddy of mine had to shit when we were out mountainbiking before. He disappeared into the woods and came back after a while. His shirt was missing a sleeve.
 
:laughing

That reminds me of one of the guys in my platoon in Ft. Drum. 6-mile brigade run, middle of the winter in upstate NY, my buddy peels off the formation and runs off into the field. Imagine a pristine field blanketed by pure white snow, not a bush or tree to be found. And there's my buddy copping a squat in the middle of it doing his business. At least we were the last battalion in the formation, and only had 3 companies behind our company, so no more than 500-600 guys saw him out there. Of course the only thing he had to wipe with were his PTs, or snow, he chose snow.
 
watsgowinon said:
Buddy of mine had to shit when we were out mountainbiking before. He disappeared into the woods and came back after a while. His shirt was missing a sleeve.
Click to expand...

Dude at my old work used to wear shirts with a square of material missing by the bottom edge. Took a while for me to realize it was done to more than one shirt, since he didn't always wear them, did I remember which shirt had a square hole, etc.
Finally asked him wtf, and he laughed and said when he goes camping, they run out of tp...then he runs out of socks...then he starts on the shirts...:laughing
 
ScorpioVI said:
:laughing

That reminds me of one of the guys in my platoon in Ft. Drum. 6-mile brigade run, middle of the winter in upstate NY, my buddy peels off the formation and runs off into the field. Imagine a pristine field blanketed by pure white snow, not a bush or tree to be found. And there's my buddy copping a squat in the middle of it doing his business. At least we were the last battalion in the formation, and only had 3 companies behind our company, so no more than 500-600 guys saw him out there. Of course the only thing he had to wipe with were his PTs, or snow, he chose snow.
Click to expand...

Imma have to try wiping with snow sometime.
 
Man, great story.

Once, driving home, I also got this sudden, unstoppable urge to go boom, and it was PAINFUL. I was like 10 minutes from home, and those 10 minutes were EXCRUCIATING. I got to my driveway, fumbled for my keys, couldn't manage that, and well, BOOM on the lawn (my own at least). That feeling of relief was indescribable. The lawn didn't look all that bad in the morning.

LOLOL about "gangnum style," hahahaha!

I sometimes wonder about what would happen on a bus, or somewhere public where you just CANNOT get to a bathroom...
 
jdhu said:
Man, great story.

Once, driving home, I also got this sudden, unstoppable urge to go boom, and it was PAINFUL. I was like 10 minutes from home, and those 10 minutes were EXCRUCIATING. I got to my driveway, fumbled for my keys, couldn't manage that, and well, BOOM on the lawn (my own at least). That feeling of relief was indescribable. The lawn didn't look all that bad in the morning.

LOLOL about "gangnum style," hahahaha!

I sometimes wonder about what would happen on a bus, or somewhere public where you just CANNOT get to a bathroom...
Click to expand...

Similar story, walking from my exes fathers place to her uncles place. Did it on the lawn. It came out orange. Idk what I ate to have bright orange poo.
 
Oceansides said:
Similar story, walking from my exes fathers place to her uncles place. Did it on the lawn. It came out orange. Idk what I ate to have bright orange poo.
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Yeah, it was AWFUL. I literally could not wait another second longer. The pain was excruciating.
 
So you looked like this when you were taking your dump?

8386893435_479a220b73.jpg
 
It could have been worse...

Just 10 minutes later, at around 4.30pm, a 31-year-old man, who is believed to be from the Bronx, was riding aboard a northbound No 6 train on the other side of the platform when he decided to step between two cars to relieve himself.

Browne said the unnamed victim lost his balance, tumbled onto the tracks and was run over by the same train he was on.
Click to expand...
 
[youtube]HeLYVsf6qEA[/youtube]
 
question: if there were just some sandpaper lying around, would you have used it?
 
Morphine said:
question: if there were just some sandpaper lying around, would you have used it?
Click to expand...

The non sandpaper side in a heartbeat.

I have a similar story. I am out in a boat with friends fishing on a lake. Friend has to pee and the boat is so small that when he stands up he can't keep his balance. So my other friend breaks out a gallon sized ziplock bag and gives me a look while passing it to my other friend. Well this guy takes his piss and guys being guys wants to show it off. So we convince him to hold it up while I take a photo. Well my other friend stabs the bag with a filet knife and this guys piss goes all over him.
 
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Entoptic said:
The non sandpaper side in a heartbeat.

I have a similar story. I am out in a boat with friends fishing on a lake. Friend has to pee and the boat is so small that when he stands up he can't keep his balance. So my other friend breaks out a gallon sized ziplock bag and gives me a look while passing it to my other friend. Well this guy takes his piss and guys being guys wants to show it off. So we convince him to hold it up while I take a photo. Well my other friend stabs the bag with a filet knife and this guys piss goes all over him.
Click to expand...

This is a thread about poo, not pee.

However...going with the 'large body of water' angle of your story...

My extended family took beach vacations together when I was a kid. One time I told my uncle that I had to go to the bathroom really bad. He pointed at the ocean and said 'just go in there!' What he THOUGHT was I had to go #1...what I ACTUALLY had to do was #2.

It was actually quite relaxing pooping in the ocean. :laughing
 
Goddamnit I hate that feeling of having to shit right on the spot. I always tell a new GF she's got to know something about me and to always remember it, with the most serious tone. She'll look at me wondering if I'm about to let drop I'm some kind of murderer or something. Then I'll say if we're ever out and about and I get the sudden urge to go, we will have to drop whatever we're doing and find the closest restroom. When a man's got to go he's got to go.
 
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