This does not mean that I feel like another point of view can’t exist. I was doing a night club in Oakland, 16 years ago and this was the first time that the trans community ever got mad at me that I knew about. And then I was nobody, I had just quit Chappelle Show. It was like a nothing hole in the wall club and I was doing some transgender jokes in Oakland, it was 16 years ago. My pronoun game was not as nice as it is today. I went too far, I said things like tranny and shit I didn’t know these words were bad, and a woman stood up and just gave me the business. Started screaming at me, and I’m sure it was a woman. But she kept calling me transphobic and all this shit I had never even heard these words before, it was really weird. I didn’t trip, I just gazed at Security to look like, “Go on, get that bitch out of here.”
[audience laughs]
I kept it moving. And then she went to the press. The next day one of the gay papers wrote all of the same things she had said to me, about me in the paper. Misquoted the jokes, and was calling me transphobic you know, these words, I had never heard them before but every time that I talked with anybody from the community since they always repeat the talking points from that article. My least favorite of which being, I hate this phrase they say, “I was punching down on them.” “Punching down”, what the fuck does that mean? Now fast forward. It is 2019. And I am in a restaurant in Ohio, very nice restaurant. It’s Thanksgiving week. And to be honest, it is not a very nice restaurant, but it is a nice restaurant, if you’re a White person from Ohio that has never been anywhere before. [laughter] Picture Chili’s.
[audience laughs]
I’m sitting in the bar, I’m having a drink by myself and the only other person in the bar is a woman, a couple of stools down. And she was alone, and she was older, and that made me feel sad, ’cause it was the holidays. So, I told the bartender, “Send that woman a drink on me.” Just trying to spread the cheer, and I wish I didn’t. This woman wanted to talk. She wasn’t mean, she was nice, but she just wanted to talk about shit that you know, I mean a n*gga just trying to get drunk don’t want to hear about this bitch remodeling in her bathroom. And I’m sitting there, trying to be polite. Oh, subway tiles? Word. But then she hits a lick. Piqued my interest. She says, “My daughter is coming home for the holidays.” Like, “Oh, that is great news, I’m glad you’re not going to be alone.” And then she goes on and on about how great her daughter is. I guess her daughter got a new agent and she is out in Hollywood, she’s in movies and on television and all this stuff and as she’s telling me this, I’m thinking, this woman is so sweet. She probably doesn’t even know who I am. Or what I do for a living because I know what your daughter’s is out in Hollywood doing.
[laughter]
And then she goes, “Would you like to see her picture?” “Oh now I don’t want to see this woman’s picture, but what am I gonna do?” I’m like, “Okay sure, I’d love to see the picture.” And I grab the picture and this is all I say, this is all I say, “Oh… she is very beautiful.” And as she puts the picture away she… looks mean all of a sudden, like she caught me in some kind of trap. “What did that face mean?” And then she goes, “She’s transgender.” And I think to myself, “Oh, this bitch does know who I am.”
[audience laughs]
I really resented that trap because that trap doesn’t let me be honest. If I was honest, I wouldn’t have fallen for it. I’d have just looked at the picture like, “Look at that big chiseled jawline, that big thick Joe Rogan neck. Is that a dude? Is your daughter a man?” Can’t say that shit. It’s really annoying. Fast forward, now it’s a couple of days later. It’s the Wednesday… before the Thursday that’s Thanksgiving, and I’m in a totally different bar and this bar, trust me, is not a nice place. It’s foul, it’s one of those bars where the top shelf should be under the sink. [laughter] This is where the poor Whites drink. The Tiki torch Whites. You know what I mean? Them White people, they believe in “Q” and they love Trump. You know what I mean? Like Michigan White people.
[audience cheers]
[applause]
I remember I was at this bar one time, it was that kind of bar it is. I was in there one time, I was fucked up and I turned around to everybody in the bar and go “Hey everybody, I am going to buy everyone in the bar a round of drinks.” And all the motherfuckers was like, “Hurrah!” And the bartender knew I was drunk, so she pulled me aside. “Mr. Chappelle, are you sure about that?” That’s going to be 16 dollars.
[laughter]
[applause]
Tough time for the Whites. And this was a holiday weekend. You know what I mean? These motherfuckers were having a rootin’ tootin’ time. They was in there partying, making all them noises. “Ooh! Ow! Yeow!” You know all them noises White people make before lynching? They was doing all that shit. [audience laughs] I was drunk. I looked over my shoulder, I thought I was trippin’. Guess who was in the bar? I thought I was seeing things, I looked across the room and I saw… the trans-bitch from the picture. [laughter] I couldn’t believe it. I said “What is a trans person, doing in a place like this? This is very dangerous behavior.” And she was with, two big, buff, gay Black dudes. I didn’t know these dudes, but I know they was gay. If they had a dick in their mouth, they wouldn’t look any gayer than they did just sitting there. [laughter] They had 1980s gay face. You know what that is? Remember in the ’80s when gay people looked surprised all the time.
[audience laughs]
[applause]
“Close your mouth, n*gga, what is surprising”, you know what I mean? But they was huge, they looked like Jussie Smollett’s trainers.
[laughter]
And I am thinking, “Man these motherfuckers are in a lot of trouble.” So what I do is I stand up and everybody in the bar likes me, so I make a big show of it to make sure that everyone can hear me. Now, I walk right up to her, and I go “Hey! I just met your mother the other night and she told me all the great things you’re doing in Hollywood. And I cannot believe that someone from a podunk place like this can achieve all that, I’m so proud of you. Welcome home.” And the whole bar said “Hurrah!” And I said “Phew.” “That ought to buy her some time.” You know what I mean? A couple of more drinks and these fellows are gonna start asking her for some pussy, she might not have.
[laughter]
And she was very gracious. She said “Thank you so much”, and we shook hands and as she was shaking my hand, her face turned mean, like her mom’s. And she said, “Do you mind, not punching down on my people?” Oh, I don’t like that. Normally, I would’ve let it go, but I was drunk.
[laughter]
I said, “What might you mean, bitch?”
[audience laughs]
I was careful to call her a bitch, ’cause I didn’t want to blow her cover. [audience laughs] Turns out she wasn’t hiding. She was loud, she was proud. She let me have it in front of everybody. Screaming at me, all the talking points from that article. You transphobic, this and that. Kept clapping her hands in my face. “Let me tell you somethin’.” I said, “Where did you learn this from, Black bitches?” She kept going, “Let me tell you something, honey.” So annoying. She kept calling transgenders, her people. Ain’t that weird? “My people this, my people that.” I said, “What do you mean, your people?” Were you all kidnapped in Transylvanian, brought here as slaves? [laughter] She said, “My people have struggled for decades, honey, decades.” And I looked at them gay Black dudes, like. “Is there anything you n*ggas need to tell this bitch? [laughter] Clifford, Clifford?”
[audience laughs]
I am exaggerating, she is actually a very nice person and I’m cool with her now, but boy, that shit got on my nerves. And it got on my nerves because, whenever someone says that to me I know they have never seen me for themselves, they just repeat what they’ve heard. Any of you, who have ever watched me know that I’ve never had a problem with transgender people. If you listen to what I’m saying, clearly my problem has always been with White people.
[audience laughs]
[applause]
I’ve been arguing with the Whites my entire career. Just when I thought I had you guys on the ropes you changed all the rules. “Oh yeah?” – Yeah, motherfucker! – “Well.” I am a girl now, n*gger. You must treat me as such.
[audience laughs]
“Call me a girl, n*gger.” It’s annoying as fuck. No, no, go back, go back tonight after the show, watch every special I did on Netflix. Listen to everything I’ve ever said about that community. I’ll go through ’em. I said, “How much do I have to participate in your self image?” I said, “You shouldn’t discuss this in front of Black people.” I said, “I know n*ggas in Brooklyn that wear high heels just to feel safe.” I asked you “Why is it easier for Bruce Jenner to change his gender than it is for Cassius Clay to change his name?”
[audience cheers]
[applause]
If you listen to what I’m saying, I’m not even talking about them, I’m talking about us and “they don’t listen.” It’s very annoying. And they have canceled people, more powerful than me. They canceled J.K. Rowling, my God. J.K. Rowling wrote all the Harry Potter books by herself. She sold so many books, the Bible worries about her.
[laughter]
And they canceled it because, she said in an interview and this is not exactly what she said, but effectually she said that gender was a fact. And then the trans community got mad as shit, they started calling her a TERF. I didn’t even know, what the fuck that was. But I know that trans people make up words to win arguments. [laughter] So I looked it up. TERF is an acronym. It stands for Trans-exclusionary radical feminist. This is a real thing, this is a group of women… that hate transgender. They don’t hate transgender women but they look at trans women the way we Blacks might look at Black face. It offends them like, “Oh, this bitch is doing an impression of me.” [laughter] Now I shouldn’t speak on this because I’m not a woman nor am I a trans. But as we’ve established… I am a feminist. [laughter] That’s right.
[applause]
I’m team TERF. I agree. I agree, man. Gender is a fact. You have to look at it from a woman’s perspective. Look at it like this, Caitlyn Jenner whom I have met, wonderful person. Caitlyn Jenner… was voted, woman of the year. Her first year as a woman. Ain’t that something? Beat every bitch in Detroit. She’s better than all of you. [laughter] Never even had a period, ain’t that something? [laughter] I’d be mad as shit if I was a woman. I’d be mad if I was me. If I was in the BET awards, sitting there and they’re like “And the winner for n*gger of the year… Eminem.” My man. [audience laughs] Gender is a fact, this is a fact. Every human being in this room, every human being on Earth had to pass through the legs of a woman to be on Earth. That is a fact. [laughter] Now… I am not saying that to say, that trans women aren’t women. I’m just sayin, that those pussies that they got… You know what I mean?
[audience laughs]
[applause]
I’m not saying it is not pussy, but that’s like Beyond Pussy or Impossible Pussy. You know what I mean? It tastes like pussy but that’s not quite what it is, is it? It’s not blood, that is beet juice. [laughter] Oh buddy, I’m in trouble now.
[audience laughs]
Before I go, I want to share this story with you because it is important to this point. I want your community to know that one of the coolest people I ever met was a transgender woman. And this is not a man that I knew that became a woman, this woman was trans when I met her. Lived in San Francisco, Daphne Dwarman is the name. I would do 18 shows in the Bay Area sometimes in Oakland and Dirty Hood night club and she would be there, white trans woman, laughing loud and hard, at everything I said. Especially the trans jokes, very puzzling… because she was obviously trans. And one night after one of the shows I met her. And what it was, turns out it was her dream to be a comedian. And I was her hero. It was very moving. I could not dislike somebody that felt that way about me. We became fast friends. And when I made that special Sticks and Stones right as it was coming out, I happened to be in San Francisco and I wanted to do a show. But I needed an opening act, and I remembered… that trans woman I had met, so I called her on the phone. And I called her myself, I said, “Hey Daphne, this is Dave Chappelle.” She couldn’t believe it. And I go, “I’m in San Francisco.” And then she started saying a bunch of wild stuff, I was like “Relax now, I don’t want any pussy, I was… [laughter] I’m just calling, because I’m doing a show and I need an opening act. And I was wondering if you’d open the show?” And she was like, “Fuck, yeah.” Now… I didn’t know this at the time but this woman had only done stand up comedy eight times in her life. This was little to no experience and now she’s about to open a show for what many call the GOAT.
[audience cheers]
[applause]
She’s an amateur in stature, but in practice, she was very professional. She showed up early, which is something I appreciate ’cause I like people to be on time. She was dressed to the motherfuckin’ nines, I mean, I’m transphobic and even I was like, “You look nice.”
[laughter]
Went up on the stage with all the swag of a professional comedian, grabbed that mic and walked right down the middle and looked at the crowd like a gangster. Man, you should have seen her work. This bitch bombed for 45 minutes, straight.
[cheers]
And I’m not exaggerating, young man. That show was terrible. Stunk. Stunk. And then she brings me on, and you know, I was like a glass of water after a handful of salt. The crowd was happy to see me. I was killing it. But here is what impressed me. Any other comedian I’ve ever seen, if they had bombed as bad as she did, would have snuck out of the back of the theatre and went home and cried or something, but she didn’t do that. Not only did she not leave, she found a seat, right up in front. You know, when a new comedian watches an experienced comedian in comedy we call this “taking class.” And this bitch took my whole class, she sat up there and was laughing as hard as she always laughs as if nothing bad had even happened to her. And I saw her show. Something bad happened to her.
[audience laughs]
She was drunk. So she starts talking to me, while I’m onstage but the way a person would talk to a television when they were alone. She was talking to me like that. That didn’t bother me ’cause I knew her. But the crowd didn’t like that shit at all ’cause she sucked. And a guy in the back of the room stood up and Daphne’s hair was dyed blonde at the time and the guy screamed out, and his energy felt wild as fuck. He said, “Hey Daphne!” and everybody got clamped, they got tense. We didn’t know who was a heckler or active shooter, and… [laughter] …he said, “Does the carpet match the drapes?” It was fucked up. The whole crowd kind of groaned, ’cause it was so like, mean. Everybody groaned, except for Daphne. She kind of laughed, which was weird. And she didn’t even look all the way back. She said, “Sir, I don’t have carpets I have hardwood floors.” Just like that. [laughter] Just like that.
[applause]
Boy, when she said that shit, it blew the roof of the place. Cut through all the tension, with that one joke. She had made up for 45 minutes of a stinker of a show. And after that, she could do no wrong. And I kept on rocking, and she kept on talking to me. And then the show became something cooler than a show. It became like a conversation between a Black man and a White trans woman and we started getting to the bottom of shit. All of them questions that you think about that you’d be afraid to ask, I was just asking them and she was answering them and her answers were funny as shit. The crowd was falling out of their chairs and at the end of the show, I go, “Well, Daphne”… I said “Well, that was fun.” I go, “I love you to death, but I have no fuckin’ idea what you’re talking about.” The whole crow laughed except for Daphne. Man, she looks at me like I’m not her friend anymore. Like I’m something bigger than me, like I’m the whole world in a guy. Then she said, “I don’t need you to understand me.” I said, “What?” She said, “I just need you to believe…” Just like that she goes, “…that I’m having a human experience.” And when she said it the whole crowd kind of gasped. And I gave the Fight Club look. I said, “I believe you, bitch.”
[laughter]
Because she didn’t say anything about pronouns. She didn’t say anything about me being in trouble. She said, “Just believe I’m a person and I’m going through it.” I know I believe you, because it takes one to know one.
[cheers and applause]
Then I told the crowd “Good night.” And they started going crazy and before the applause gets to it’s crescendo I was saying, “Don’t forget my opening act, Daphne.” And the crowd stood up. And I looked at her, tears came out of her eyes she couldn’t believe it was happening. I couldn’t believe it was happening ’cause her show stunk. [laughter] And it was a great night. And I remember, the late great Paul Mooney was there bunch of flyers, comedy n*ggas was there.
[cheers]
[applause]
And we all went backstage and was just drinking and talking shit and laughing and Daphne stole the room, she had everyone cracking up. Spinning the yarn, telling us all these crazy stories about shit, she’d be into. We all laughing real hard, and there she is telling us and everyone is laughing. I’m looking around, I’m like, “Oh my God, she is funny.” I pulled her aside, I said, “You’re hilarious. I didn’t know that when you were onstage.” [laughter] I said, “You’re doing some things wrong but I can help you.” I said, “Anytime I’m in San Francisco why don’t you open the show for me and I’ll just try to give you some pointers and see if you can work this thing out.” She said, “Are you serious?” I was like, “Yeah.” And she grabbed me real tight, hugged me, squeezed me. And I pushed her off violently, ’cause I’m transphobic. I said “Boundaries, bitch!”
[audience laughs]
When Sticks and Stones came out… a lot of people in the trans community were furious with me and apparently they dragged me on Twitter. I don’t give a fuck, ’cause Twitter is not a real place.
[audience laughs]
[cheers and applause]
And the hardest thing for a person to do is go against their tribe if they disagree with their tribe, but Daphne did that for me. She wrote a tweet that was very beautiful and what she said was and it is almost exactly what she said. She said, “Punching down on someone, requires you to think less of them and I know him, and he doesn’t. He doesn’t punch up, he doesn’t punch down he punches lines, and he is a master at his craft.” That’s what she said.
[audience cheers]
Beautiful tweet, beautiful friend, it took a lot of heart to defend me like that, and when she did that the trans community dragged that bitch all over Twitter. For days, they was going in on her, and she was holding her own ’cause she’s funny. But six days after that wonderful night I described to you my friend Daphne killed herself. Oh yeah, this is a true story, my heart was broken. Yeah, it wasn’t the jokes. I don’t know if was them dragging or I don’t know what was going on in her life but I bet dragging her didn’t help. I was very angry at them, I was very angry at her. I felt like Daphne lied to me. She always said, she identified as a woman. And then one day she goes up to the roof of her building and jumps off and kills herself. Clearly… only a man would do some gangster shit like that. Hear me out. As hard as it is to hear a joke like that I’m telling you right now, Daphne would have loved that joke. That is why she was my friend.
[cheers and applause]
I was reading her obituary and I found out, she was survived by a daughter. And the moment I found that out, and this is true Anderson Cooper from CNN texted me. And all he says, it’s very nice, he said, “I’m sorry to hear about your friend.” And I texted him right back. “New phone, who this?” [laughter] He said, “It’s Anderson Cooper.” Oh, I said, “Anderson, look I need to find her family.” And he texted me right back with all the phone numbers and all this information. I say this to say, if you ever want to know about anything gay call Anderson Cooper from CNN. This n*gga is faster than Google. [laughter] What I did is, I got in touch with her family and I started a trust fund for her daughter ’cause I know that is all she ever really cared about.
[applause]
And I don’t know what the trans community did for her but I don’t care, because I feel like she wasn’t their tribe, she was mine. She was a comedian in her soul.
[applause]
The daughter is very young, but I hope to be alive when she turns 21 ’cause I’m going to give her this money myself. And by then, by then, I’ll be ready to have the conversation that I’m not ready to have today. But I’ll tell that little girl, “Young lady, I knew your father… [audience laughs] …and he was a wonderful woman.”
[cheers]
[applause]
Empathy is not gay. Empathy is not Black. Empathy is bi-sexual. It must go both ways. It must go both ways.
[applause]
Remember, taking a man’s livelihood is akin to killing him. I’m begging you, please do not abort DaBaby.
