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Doom, Gloom and dealing with negativity from non riders

Even after telling people I've been riding for 10 years I still get "hey it just rained and in case you didn't know it will be wet outside." I usually nod and walk away because it's just easier. :laughing
 
Daks said:
I had a nurse laugh and call me a "donor" when I told her I ride.

I wonder if they do that for mountain climbers, sky divers, skiiers or other people who may get injured having fun superfluously while my possible death is mocked for trying to save some money on commuting.
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They're often called 'donor-cycles' in ER and EMS circles, thanks to all the brain dead riders they see. Black humor is all that keeps you sane in those circles, don't read too much into it. At least she didn't lecture you about it, like the ER doc talking to my mid-50s friend in his hospital bed after a SMIDSY took him out, with his wife and daughter present.
 
The real problem with motorcycling is that it punishes mistakes and ignorance easier and more severe than the mind numbing boring alternative of box on 4wheels escape from reality most people accept as the default choice.

But like any fun activity, riding is a calculated risk.
Good gear, ability to focus, the desire to always improve and the restrain to always ride within your limits make a huge difference in improving your chances.
True that simple bad luck can strike anyone anytime, but that can be just as valid for car drivers or pedestrians.
 
I just tell them that people pass away everyday and if I am going to go out, it's going to be doing something I love.

I have broken my femur on a motorcycle, I understand the risks but I don't live my life out of fear for "what ifs". I am going to enjoy it while I am here. I don't ride crazy, I take precautions and I try to be as safe as possible so thanks for the concern but I'm going to ride.
 
Daks said:
I had a nurse laugh and call me a "donor" when I told her I ride.

I wonder if they do that for mountain climbers, sky divers, skiiers or other people who may get injured having fun superfluously while my possible death is mocked for trying to save some money on commuting.
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Generally they don't. A subset of the ER community seem to develop this response as a coping mechanism because they see a lot of these traumas. They certainly don't all do it, but some do and you can see how they might develop a skewed perspective.

Some people really struggle with the reality that not everyone values they same things they do. I don't get these comments much any longer, but when it comes up I briefly acknowledge that riding is dangerous but that for me the reward offsets the risk. If people think you heard them, they tend to shut up soon after.
 
SmallButScrappy said:
Some of the recent gems are :

Co worker: "I noticed you have a death wish."
Me: " huh?"
Co worker: " you have a motorcycle. I didn't know you were suicidal."

"You should get a go pro, so that we can all see the footage of you going through that Ferrari window."

" why are you doing that? You're too small and fragile to be doing something so risky"
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"shaming" is a buzzword these days and all those people are doing exactly that to u. the first two especially are being real assholes. IMO, itd be a good idea to let them know that expressing those opinions of theirs is not OK, esp the coworker.
 
I've never gotten that level of flack...But... Stay strong :thumbup

If I were to get hit with something like what has been related...
I guess I'd come back with... "That's the downside of being an idiot, that doesn't learn how to ride a bike safely. and doesn't dress for riding either."

Anyone stop riding in cars? People are getting killed in them everyday.

I've been riding for 60 years.. Both public road and dirt trail riding, and off road (desert) racing....
Pretty hard for some non rider, to tell me about Motorcycle riding...:laughing
 
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"....and maybe we should all cover ourselves in bubble wrap and shield ourselves from anything intrinsically satisfying because of the perception of potential danger. because it seems as if you live in a fragile glass case of emotion."
 
SmallButScrappy said:
Recently, I've had my enthusiasm for riding met with horrible stories, graphic photos of recovery and even!! Wishes of me getting hurt!!
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I've gotten the usual stories of carnage and danger. Never once met someone who wished me to get hurt?:wtf WTF?

Can you elaborate more on these sick fucks?
 
Lucky13xx said:
I've gotten the usual stories of carnage and danger. Never once met someone who wished me to get hurt?:wtf WTF?

Can you elaborate more on these sick fucks?
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There are folks who have deep resentment towards those who will boldly do what they themselves are too timid to try. I think that when you hear comments like that, the origin is something along that line.
 
When I was a novice, I would hear loads of bad advice from non-riders

I'm guessing I heard less than you because of the perception that male riders are superior (incorrect) and that as a long-time bicycle rider, I was safer and understood the risks of motorcycling (correct).

The people you cannot simply ignore is your loved ones. While they may be clueless about riding, their concern for your safety is valid. And believe it or not, this concern is good enough reason to quit riding. Many riders stop because of their loved ones.

One the other hand, learning to ride requires objective analysis of your riding abilities. Keep that in mind when someone says to be careful.
 
SmallButScrappy said:
I'm a new rider and petite gal, but when discover that I ride, it comes as somewhat of a shock to most people. Don't get me wrong, I get my fair share of people that are happy and supportive but I still haven't figured out how to deal with all the negativity that comes with the territory.

Recently, I've had my enthusiasm for riding met with horrible stories, graphic photos of recovery and even!! Wishes of me getting hurt!!

I know this is probably pretty common and I wonder how do y'all handle it? I never know what to say.

My recent responses have been:

"I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable , but I'm gonna ignore your advice."

Or.. " I understand that you're trying to look out for me. But I have to live my life without fear of the future."

Sometimes I feel a bit sassy and want to talk back to them but I just try to see the intention behind what they say.
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I find that if my own smile and my own tune are loud enough, people's remarks and commentary on what I am doing starts to fade to the background.
 
are you one of those crazy people that ride between cars?
why yes I am
you know it's dangerous
only if the car drivers aren't paying attention to their driving.

I had a relative/friend die on a motorcycle, you shouldn't ride them
I had a friend die in a car crash, you shouldn't ride in cars.

There's always someone that wants to make them self feel smart by calling some one else dumb, then you watch 'em bury their head in their smartphone and blindly walk across a busy street.

Riding a motorcycle is a risk I choose to take, I realize there is an increased danger but I accept it with my eyes open. I see many people that would say I'm crazy for riding take risk on a daily basis that they are completely oblivious too and do nothing to mitigate the risk they are taking, at lest when I ride I'm aware of my risk and work to reduce it.
 
Most motorcycle comments that I get are positive.

I'll agree right away that motorcycles are dangerous, but I'll also point out that it's not too hard to minimize the dangers, especially from the inattentive car drivers.

When people bring up someone they knew who died on a motorcycle, I can point out (honestly) that I know more who have died in SUV rollovers than in motorcycle accidents.

And my favorite response lately is "motorcycles are not for wimps".


Since I've been riding for several decades, it's easier than being a new rider. :afm199
 
SmallButScrappy said:
Some of the recent gems are :

Co worker: "I noticed you have a death wish."
Me: " huh?"
Co worker: " you have a motorcycle. I didn't know you were suicidal."

"You should get a go pro, so that we can all see the footage of you going through that Ferrari window."

" why are you doing that? You're too small and fragile to be doing something so risky"

And countless others.. Lots and lots of the " my cousin's hairdressers best friend's neighbor spent 4 months in a coma thanks to a motorcycle"

But, the worst.. So far was one super sweet lady that insisted on showing me the recovery photos of her husband that got hit by a soccer mom in an SUV. Needed hip surgery and can " never work" in construction ever again.
It's Sad, but It makes me wonder.. What's his take on it?

In any case.. I don't think I should have to keep my riding a secret. I shouldn't have to sneak a change of clothes in to work. It's my life, and they should just let me live it. I was just curious of your take on it
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BTW, one time a co-worker who actually rides (like a wussy) criticized me for my aggressive riding.

I said little, but in a non-workplace environment, I would have busted his chops until he was 3 foot tall.

It sounds like you have very negative co-workers who recognize that, as a novice, you are mildly insecure about your riding.

I don't blame you for being insecure. Any novice is not going to be as confident as a rider with several years of experience.

I try not to discuss my motorcycling with co-workers. For one thing, I'm afraid they might have seen me do something illegal on my ride into work! But mostly I don't want to put into a position where I am open with my thoughts about riding and non-riders.
 
I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when people spew like they are doing to you OP.
But I try to remember Mr T from the A team " I pity the FOOL" when I say it to myself it works :2cents
 
Get used to it. The Bay Area has some highly risk-averse microcultures that will give you shit for activities much less dangerous than riding a motorcycle.

Friends and co-workers will become acclimated. Take it good naturedly. If you come to work in your gear often enough, they'll get the idea they're not going to dissuade you.

As your riding horizon expands and you start visiting interesting places, tack some pics on your cubicle (or whatever work environment you inhabit). Prepare nonchalant responses to inquiries: "That? Oh, Yosemite Valley from the overlook. We rode up there last weekend. The blue bike is mine." Envy will ensue.
 
The reaction is probably because you're female, I'm not sure I've had more than one or two comments like that in my 32 years of riding.

Heart disease is the #1 killer - 611,000 deaths .... do you see everybody changing their habits to avoid it? I don't think so. Motorcycle deaths: ~ 4,500

42% being Single Vehicle accidents - the riders themselves - you can do your best to stay out of that category.

Absolutely it's risky - that's not why I ride though, the enjoyment of riding for me is still bigger than my fear of getting maimed or killed. That ratio is different for everybody.

I do think that all the electronic distractions that are now in cars make riding in metro areas more dangerous than years ago.
 
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