• There has been a recent cluster of spammers accessing BARFer accounts and posting spam. To safeguard your account, please consider changing your password. It would be even better to take the additional step of enabling 2 Factor Authentication (2FA) on your BARF account. Read more here.

How do you tell your partner that their presents suck

Here's what I got from the wife this year for Xmas...




Nothing.





And here's what I got her...





Nothing.





We have everything we want and need already. Just spent time with each other.
 
the gf and i did a $10+tax limit on gifts this Xmas. she replaced the battery in my watch and spent the whole $10. i made her a pair of earrings and spent $0. she loved the gift but was pissed i didn't spend anything :laughing.

rsrider said:
Maybe she's tired of you wearing the same clothes. When was the last time you bought new underwear? Are you still dressing like you did when you were a teenager? Women don't just randomly do shit, there's a reason behind those gifts, you need to figure it out.
Click to expand...

yep. if you dressed the way she wants you too, she wouldn't have to buy you lame gifts. well, at least that might be how she sees it.
 
Instead of gifts for each other, why not get a gift for the house, or something you can enjoy together? That's what my lady and I usually do for the holidays, this year we picked up a DSLR.

Birthdays are a different story, you should definitely pick up something for your partner for birthdays. Fortunately mine wants me to tell her exactly what I want. Saves her the stress of trying to think of something, and I actually get something I want. :teeth It also works the other way around. :thumbup
 
Last edited:
all of those items are $$$. OP, if your getting steak and blowjobs, shut up and nut up.
 
Wait.

Did you seriously just say that you gave her pots and pans one year (even if they're All-Clad), and then complain her her gifts suck? :facepalm

Any of the BARFettes wanna help the kid out here?

I will never pretend to know much of anything about girls, but I do know that is a cardinal no-no. Don't give "get in the kitchen" type gifts. That means no vacuum cleaners, no appliances, and no pots and pans. Even if they ask for it. It's always a letdown if they didn't get something frivolous.

Only time pots and pans should be an acceptable gift is when you're giving them to a couple as a wedding present.
 
JackTheTripper said:
Here's what I got from the wife this year for Xmas...




Nothing.





And here's what I got her...





Nothing.





We have everything we want and need already. Just spent time with each other.
Click to expand...

Damn you stole our gift list.:teeth

:afm199 After 36 years we have what we need, each other.

Wife did buy new leather furniture in early December and I got a 70" TV to watch from my new chair:thumbup But no gifts this year.
 
Anyone who is mad about a PRESENT SOMEONE BOUGHT FOR YOU has serious entitlement issues


Goddamed people are greedy
 
kevin 714 said:
Anyone who is mad about a PRESENT SOMEONE BOUGHT FOR YOU has serious entitlement issues


Goddamed people are greedy
Click to expand...

This! Gifts are a thoughtful expression and she's giving you something she believes you would like.

There is some great advice in this thread and let's parse a few of them:

1. Aforementioned point - it's a gift. If you want gifts, recalibrate your expectations.

2. Set a limit if you'd like to set some healthy parameters and achieve some semblance of reciprocity.

3. Have a "joint" gift that you both plan together.

4. Don't exchange anything that costs money. For creative-minded folk, this could be a really fun stretch of the imagination.
 
revnort said:
Give her clothes you want to see her in?
Click to expand...

Perfect :thumbup:thumbup

Entoptic said:
My list went something like this:

1. Xbox (too expensive?)
2. Playstation (too expensive?)
3. Accordion (too expensive, what model?)
4. Martial Arts Gear (what gear?)
5. Motorcycle related stuff (what stuff?)
Click to expand...

I gave my wife the item numbers of parts I wanted and where she could buy them and linked her to specific eBay items. I got most of those plus some other very creative well thought out gifts.

You need to be upfront with her now, or risk crappy presents and disappointment for the rest of your life. Or link her to this thread.
 
mike23w said:
or if the person cooks for fun (it's a recreational activity).
Click to expand...

I'm still gonna call that a no-no, unless, as Rob said, you're accompanying that kitchenware with a trip to the CIA in Napa or something 'frivolous' as Rob put it.
 
It's pretty clear she does not want to encourage your continued childhood by:
  • Playing fucking videogames
  • Playing the fucking accordion (seriously WTF)
  • Goofing around like a ginger Bruce Lee

    No support of motorcycling?!?! find a new girlfriend and tattoo "MC hater" on her forehead so other can be warned in advance.
 
TheRobSJ said:
Wait.

Did you seriously just say that you gave her pots and pans one year (even if they're All-Clad), and then complain her her gifts suck? :facepalm

Any of the BARFettes wanna help the kid out here?

I will never pretend to know much of anything about girls, but I do know that is a cardinal no-no. Don't give "get in the kitchen" type gifts. That means no vacuum cleaners, no appliances, and no pots and pans. Even if they ask for it. It's always a letdown if they didn't get something frivolous.

Only time pots and pans should be an acceptable gift is when you're giving them to a couple as a wedding present.
Click to expand...

Maybe if he'd put a really nice necklace or maybe a Tiffany bracelet in the pots n pans box... but yeah, the year my now ex-husband bought me a dryer for my birthday (even though we needed it), I was NOT a happy camper. :nchantr

And if she's buying clothing for you, then I'd say she's trying to tell you (in as subtle a manner as possible) that your taste in clothing is somewhat suspect... :2cents
 
norcalkeith said:
I'm still gonna call that a no-no, unless, as Rob said, you're accompanying that kitchenware with a trip to the CIA in Napa or something 'frivolous' as Rob put it.
Click to expand...

A couple years ago my girl wanted a new coffeemaker. A whole lot of "are you sure" came out of me. I got her the damn thing with the grinder built in and she says it makes great coffee. Uses it everyday.

Still got her something from Coach too. And even though she uses whatever that purse or wallet (I honestly forgot there's been so many Coach items over the years) nowhere near as much as she uses the coffeemaker, I got waaaaaaaaay more brownie points for the frivolous leather thing even though it was a $200 coffeemaker that she probably never would've spent as much for herself on.

Buying girls practical shit like cofeemakers or pots and pans is pretty much right on par with giftcards I think. It sends a message of "I think you need this, but I don't know what you really want."
 
TheRobSJ said:
Wait.

Did you seriously just say that you gave her pots and pans one year (even if they're All-Clad), and then complain her her gifts suck? :facepalm

Any of the BARFettes wanna help the kid out here?

I will never pretend to know much of anything about girls, but I do know that is a cardinal no-no. Don't give "get in the kitchen" type gifts. That means no vacuum cleaners, no appliances, and no pots and pans. Even if they ask for it. It's always a letdown if they didn't get something frivolous.

Only time pots and pans should be an acceptable gift is when you're giving them to a couple as a wedding present.
Click to expand...

Hey, I'd like a new sauté pan for Christmas!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top