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How do you tell your partner that their presents suck

TheRobSJ said:
A couple years ago my girl wanted a new coffeemaker. A whole lot of "are you sure" came out of me. I got her the damn thing with the grinder built in and she says it makes great coffee. Uses it everyday.

Still got her something from Coach too. And even though she uses whatever that purse or wallet (I honestly forgot there's been so many Coach items over the years) nowhere near as much as she uses the coffeemaker, I got waaaaaaaaay more brownie points for the frivolous leather thing even though it was a $200 coffeemaker that she probably never would've spent as much for herself on.

Buying girls practical shit like cofeemakers or pots and pans is pretty much right on par with giftcards I think. It sends a message of "I think you need this, but I don't know what you really want."
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:laughing:thumbup Exactly.
 
Gixxergirl1000 said:
Maybe if he'd put a really nice necklace or maybe a Tiffany bracelet in the pots n pans box... but yeah, the year my now ex-husband bought me a dryer for my birthday (even though we needed it), I was NOT a happy camper. :nchantr

And if she's buying clothing for you, then I'd say she's trying to tell you (in as subtle a manner as possible) that your taste in clothing is somewhat suspect... :2cents
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A dryer?! Jesus that's bad. Just barely better than "here honey I got you a new power drill!"


And god damn that Tiffany! Why do you girls get so much mileage out of that little blue box with the white ribbon? I forgot what the occasion was, but I got mine some tennis bracelet from there and couldn't help but think how much more I could've gotten for the same money at some other jewelry store.
 
Okay....I'm about to drop some middle-aged knowledge on your ass. :afm199 You're may not like it, but suck it up buttercup.

You're now an adult male. The years of expecting cool gifts for Christmas are over for you. Your job as a man is to give great gifts for Christmas. If you happen to get something great in return, it's simply a bonus. However, for men, Christmas is about giving and watching everyone open their presents. The joy in the gift, and the joy in seeing someone get what they wanted is truly priceless.

There IS more. You're an adult male, and everyone who loves you HATES to shop for you because , "You're impossible to shop for." Fine. Good. Use this to your advantage. If someone in your family requests a Christmas list, put gift cards on it. That's it; only gift cards. Then, TELL your significant other you're going to go out after Christmas and buy yourself something. You know you're hard to shop for, so you'll just go out after the holidays and buy yourself something. Tell her you're doing it to help relieve some of her holiday stress. This is NOT bullshit. She will probably be relieved not to have to buy for you.

My holiday joy comes form watching my wife and sons open their gifts and REALLY enjoy them. I look forward to the holiday meal. I buy something great to make, cook it myself (I love to cook) and enjoy the meal with an outstanding bottle of wine. The holiday meal with my family and wine are my Christmas Day highlights and I really look forward to it every year.



AND



I get to go out and buy myself something frivolous and cool after the holidays. Win - win!!
 
bikeama said:
Damn you stole our gift list.:teeth

:afm199 After 36 years we have what we need, each other.

Wife did buy new leather furniture in early December and I got a 70" TV to watch from my new chair:thumbup But no gifts this year.
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She bought some pricy boots and some clothing over the last couple months and we're picking up a new MacBook Pro tomorrow (for both of us but mostly me). Been planning the computer for a few months. So kind of similar thing on our end. 15.5 years here.


Oh, and pots/pans is a good gift for some people. A few years back she got me a set of mixing bowls cause I always complain that when I'm cooking I never had enough. Of course she asked a few weeks before if it would be a good gift and I said yes. So......
 
I had the sucky present talk with my wife before my last birthday.

I told her she had gotten lazy, cheap, and horribly non-specific over the last few years. I did not use those words, but close synonyms.

She has knocked every gift out of the park since then.
 
revnort said:
I usually buy whatever I want or need, so the only stuff left is very expensive and I don't ask anyone else for that stuff.
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Ditto.

However, I'm an absolutely terrible gift giver. I always feel like the stuff I get is something they didn't want and I just thought they'd like. I've noticed it's the little things that mean more too. For example, Kelly kept a running log of all the stuff I saw online or in person that I said was cool. Then she went and bought some of them. They weren't all big and I honestly never expected them from her which made it all the more awesome to receive. :teeth
 
Entoptic said:
Title says it all. I constantly give awesome presents that Erin always wants. Last year it was an iPad and this year it was All-Clad saucepans. These past two years have sucked ass for me. I got clothing from her both times, clothing I don't wear but instead clothing she would like to see me in. I feel like my mom is buying me presents and now I just don't even look forward to gifts from Erin. How do I break it to her that I am not pleased with her gifts without sounding like an asshole.

I gave her a list and no were on it did it say clothing.

My list went something like this:

1. Xbox
2. Playstation
3. Accordion
4. Martial Arts Gear
5. Motorcycle related stuff

In the past she has been spot on. Saved my ass with glove liners and warm socks. Bought me my first month of martial arts that I still attend. Recently its been poop gifts.
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Maybe she saw number 3 on your list, started to cry and proceeded to use the list as toilet paper for her next bowel movement.:rofl

Joking aside, by gettin you clothes, just like others have said, she wants you to swith up your style a lil bit. Women usually have a waayyyy better fashion sense than men, so id take her hint.

Also, your items are kinda pricey, any chance money was an issue??

On a different note, i got an xbox, brand new in box if youre interested???
 
Just some more info.

1. She requested the All-Clad stuff which was on her list
2. She requested I create a list for her cause as everyone has noted I can just go out and buy the stuff I want.
3. Buying someone clothing to change they way they look is at best foolish.
 
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Entoptic said:
Just some more info.

1. She requested the All-Clad stuff which was on her list
2. She requested I create a list for her cause as everyone has noted I can just go out and buy the stuff I want.
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As for your list, there really are only two options there, a playstation or an xbox.

An Accordian?!
-Buying someone a musical instrument is very expensive, and also subjective. I wouldn't want to drop a ton of coin without the persons intput.

Martial arts gear?
-As you noted she got you lessons, maybe she didn't want to repeat gift. Also that's vague as fuck. Did you want, Nunchucks, ninja stars, or some shin guards.

Moto related stuff?
Also vague as fuck, and you mentioned she did this before too. Maybe she did not want to repeat the gift...

Be more specific about items you want. If you want a game system go out an buy one.
 
Buying for guys is easy, and scalable; if in doubt, buy us coffee or whisky.
I'll be happy with a $20 bottle of Bulleitt. I'll be ecstatic with a bottle of Talisker. Either way I'll use it and appreciate it.
 
SFSV650 said:
Buying for guys is easy, and scalable; if in doubt, buy us coffee or whisky.
I'll be happy with a $20 bottle of Bulleitt. I'll be ecstatic with a bottle of Talisker. Either way I'll use it and appreciate it.
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:thumbup

Alcohol, the gift that keeps on giving. I do a lot of my holiday shopping at Bevmo and Costco's liquor aisle. :teeth
 
TheRobSJ said:
Wait.

Did you seriously just say that you gave her pots and pans one year (even if they're All-Clad), and then complain her her gifts suck? :facepalm

Any of the BARFettes wanna help the kid out here?

I will never pretend to know much of anything about girls, but I do know that is a cardinal no-no. Don't give "get in the kitchen" type gifts. That means no vacuum cleaners, no appliances, and no pots and pans. Even if they ask for it. It's always a letdown if they didn't get something frivolous.

Only time pots and pans should be an acceptable gift is when you're giving them to a couple as a wedding present.
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:laughing:laughing:laughing
 

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MrIncredible said:
Yeah if you gave a list and she ignored it you're just going to have a fight.

She probably has better taste in clothes and wants you to dress nicer but has no idea how to tell you that, hence she gifts clothes.

My advice is to:

1) wear the nice clothes the nice girl bought you
2) buy your own video games
3) shut the fuck up
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THIS.
 
This boggles my mind. It's a fucking gift! As long as it isn't herpes, HIV, a credit card that's been maxed out or a baby that isn't yours, how the hell do you complain?

If the rest of your relationship is so good that you have time to think about this, I can't see how this isn't acting unbelievably spoiled. Unless this is a pattern of behavior that shows she doesn't consider your needs, otherwise I'd stfu and be happy. If I didn't use the stuff and she asked, I'd explain that while it was really sweet to get the stuff, I can't use it.:dunno
 
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