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Official "Breakup" on BARF Thread

Im on the rebound people :x
 
Im on the rebound people :x

how YOU doin'? :leghump

this thread is WIN

and to my Hooli cat ...

my darling, it was never going to work out between us. your penchant for wearing my lingerie and singing show tunes was amusing at first but the dry cleaning bills, the never ending noise complaints, the emotional rollercoaster you caused me when I found you in bed with the neighbor's calico- I've had enough.
I'm sorry things didn't end better, and I'm sorry for the submissions I'm about to make to Youtube. But trust me, its better this way.
We'll always have Paris.
Unless she breaks up with you too.
 
I am breaking up with everyone who ever posted in the SF Social Gathering threads and either had no intention of attending or just flaked out on us for flake's sake. Oh well I guess I am breaking up with myself too. :( Good, I was tired of my own bullshit anyway! :) Hey, how you doing? :chuci Great thanks, what are you doing later on? ;) Waking up at your place, I hope. :teeth Damn you are a little slut - alright let's go! :laughing
 
I am breaking up with everyone who ever posted in the SF Social Gathering threads and either had no intention of attending or just flaked out on us for flake's sake. Oh well I guess I am breaking up with myself too. :( Good, I was tired of my own bullshit anyway! :) Hey, how you doing? :chuci Great thanks, what are you doing later on? ;) Waking up at your place, I hope. :teeth Damn you are a little slut - alright let's go! :laughing


:|:laughing

If I were a woman, I'd have elventybillion cases of Avian/Duracell Batteries/and KY delivered to my house and i'd go on welfare and never come out.
 
:|:laughing

If I were a woman, I'd have elventybillion cases of Avian/Duracell Batteries/and KY delivered to my house and i'd go on welfare and never come out.

I think I have a few clients like that. . .

:|

( They're not hawt :cry )

Oh and I want to break up with Mike FIVE :|
 
I'll be right down.

*tapping foot* Still waiting :x

how YOU doin'? :leghump

this thread is WIN

and to my Hooli cat ...

my darling, it was never going to work out between us. your penchant for wearing my lingerie and singing show tunes was amusing at first but the dry cleaning bills, the never ending noise complaints, the emotional rollercoaster you caused me when I found you in bed with the neighbor's calico- I've had enough.
I'm sorry things didn't end better, and I'm sorry for the submissions I'm about to make to Youtube. But trust me, its better this way.
We'll always have Paris.
Unless she breaks up with you too.

^ :kiss

Hooli! You've been two timing me!! URGH! :x

Danni how YOU doin? :kiss
 
It really sucks that it's gone this way but, CHUM I think it's over.

Your constant snoring has really gotten to me, last night you vibrated me right off the bed just as I was dreaming of Hooli and his bike exhaust blowing hydroponic smoke right into my face. As your snoring got louder, I mistook it for the roar of his engine, and by the time I realized my mistake I was on the floor. By the way, I saw all that gaRy M4M porn beneath the bed. The worst part was the graphic photo of postcholo putting his **** into your ****.

While I'm at it, everytime I shroom out, your tattoos come alive and crawl all over my skin, leaving you bare and creamy, and coloring me bad like a disturbed ADD child's art workbook. :x

I've absolutely had it with your infidelity, if it's potcholo you want, it's postcholo you get.

Don't even bother asking about the potatoes.
 
It really sucks that it's gone this way but, CHUM I think it's over.

...By the way, I saw all that gaRy M4M porn beneath the bed. The worst part was the graphic photo of postcholo putting his **** into your ****.

.
.


I've absolutely had it with your infidelity, if it's potcholo you want, it's postcholo you get.

Don't even bother asking about the potatoes.

that's it!!!... this is getting freeky and GArY.. and its only been up for a few hrs... :x u 's all kinda freeky and wierd :shocker

this is a 'end-your-relationship' thread not end your relationship and coming out party :sheesh
 
Dear MikeV,

Michael, I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our
"cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I
swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little
boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make
contact.

In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I
guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot
of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about
looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as
one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our
hurt. And this is what my heart says...

"There's no one like you, Mike." I look for you in the eyes and the moobs
of every man I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two
weeks ago, I met this guy at Skip's and brought him home with me. I
don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my
desperation. He was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies
that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating or ballet can give you. I
mean, just a perfect body. A cawk you wouldn't believe and an ass like a
tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch
being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made
important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect
body mean?

Does it make him better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see
what I'm getting at. Does it make him a better person? Does he have a
better heart than my moderately attractive Mike? I doubt it. And I'd
never really thought of that before. I Don't know, maybe I'm just
growing up a little.

Later, after I'd tossed him about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I
found myself thinking, "why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't
just his flawless technique or his slutty, shameless hunger, but
something else. Some ****ing feeling of loss. Why did it feel so
incomplete? And then it hit me.

It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Mike, to watch. Do
you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Mike,
I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of
you.

Do you remember Bob, that single dad we met in the marina last year?
Well, he dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. He said he
figured I wasn't eating right without a man around. I didn't know what
he meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we had a
few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away in
our old bedroom. And this guy is a total monster in the sack. He's
giving me everything, you know like a real man does when he's not
hung up about his weight or his career and whether the kids can hear us.
And all of a sudden he spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's
old vanity. So he puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we
can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too.
'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Mike ever put the mirror on
the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never
used it as a sex aid."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I
mean, Suzy's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on
her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.

She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in
general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Mike, She really
is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times.
Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is
think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just
about makes me cry. And then it turns out Suzy's really into the whole
anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured
you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness
between us.

But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby
sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Mike.
In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just
wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know, otherwise, can
you let me know where the remote control is.


Can we at least still be friends?

K
 
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