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DON'T get a motorcycle
- Thread starter gnstalodz
- Start date
RossF4i
New member
I think some are being a little harsh saying he is a bad father because of this. The fact that he wants to protect his son does not make him a bad father.
I don't have any children and am to young to have a paternal mindset, so I won't touch on that anymore, and I can't relate to the sister thing, so I will keep my mouth shut about that.
But not wanting a friend to ride is something I completely understand. I have some friends that are honestly just not smart people. When they drive cars they are never aware of whats happening around them. When I am in the car with them I find myself scanning for them.. I don't like to ride in other peoples cars because of this. It seems like no one my age (18-20) has any awareness of what is happening on the road around them. My friends always see my bikes and talk about getting them, but I try to talk them out of it without being a dick. There are people that you just know what have what it takes to ride. Let them find out for themselves some people say, but if it's some I love I am not gonna stand by and wait for them to down a bike and then chime in.
I happen to know the friend the OP is talking about.. I personally do not think he is cut out for riding. He is too concerned with how he looks doing what he is doing. He also seems to always be aloof. He is a great guy, and very intelligent, but I can too easily picture him sailing right into a car that just cut him off and not even knowing it happened.
Just my 2 cents
I don't have any children and am to young to have a paternal mindset, so I won't touch on that anymore, and I can't relate to the sister thing, so I will keep my mouth shut about that.
But not wanting a friend to ride is something I completely understand. I have some friends that are honestly just not smart people. When they drive cars they are never aware of whats happening around them. When I am in the car with them I find myself scanning for them.. I don't like to ride in other peoples cars because of this. It seems like no one my age (18-20) has any awareness of what is happening on the road around them. My friends always see my bikes and talk about getting them, but I try to talk them out of it without being a dick. There are people that you just know what have what it takes to ride. Let them find out for themselves some people say, but if it's some I love I am not gonna stand by and wait for them to down a bike and then chime in.
I happen to know the friend the OP is talking about.. I personally do not think he is cut out for riding. He is too concerned with how he looks doing what he is doing. He also seems to always be aloof. He is a great guy, and very intelligent, but I can too easily picture him sailing right into a car that just cut him off and not even knowing it happened.
Just my 2 cents
Carlo
Kickstart Enthusiast
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2005
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Honda Goldwing/California Sidecar combination
People are mostly reflecting on the hypocrisy.
The "do as I say, not as I do" mentality; that he's capable of riding a motorcycle, but none of the people close to him are similarly capable.
And that he can't stand the thought of a loved ones death on a motorcycle, yet he's willing to put his loved ones at risk of experiencing his death.
I've sometimes told people I didn't think it was a good idea for them to ride a motorcycle, and explained why, but I have to let them make their own decisions.
The "do as I say, not as I do" mentality; that he's capable of riding a motorcycle, but none of the people close to him are similarly capable.
And that he can't stand the thought of a loved ones death on a motorcycle, yet he's willing to put his loved ones at risk of experiencing his death.
I've sometimes told people I didn't think it was a good idea for them to ride a motorcycle, and explained why, but I have to let them make their own decisions.
Roadstergal
Sergeant Jackrum
So who's going to break his computer? 
theAmazingKickstand
New member
If I had em, I wouldn't want my wife or kids riding either. I'd quit riding if they brought up that argument. Yelling someone out of riding isn't gonna work (I got my first at 15.5 yrs old.) If they insist on riding I'd be for it cuz I can't think of anyway a parent will prevent it for life. Better I train them and hope for the best.
Breaking the sisters bike isn't cool. Its just gonna keep her from riding until she fixes it.
If your kid is working part time at KFC then breaking random expensive stuff on a weekly basis could make him think ridings not worth it.
Breaking the sisters bike isn't cool. Its just gonna keep her from riding until she fixes it.
If your kid is working part time at KFC then breaking random expensive stuff on a weekly basis could make him think ridings not worth it.
MikeGyver
bye
She can't make her own decisions? Her life, let her live it how she wants.
Your kids will do opposite of what you tell them.
Gixxergirl1000
AFM #731
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- Stockton
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- Connie
Climber
Well-known member
This.
I have never encouraged somebody to ride, I don't want the responsibility.
However, when a friend or family members have decided to ride, I have done my best to educate them about the things I consider important about riding.
The OP has a very self-centered view of the world, IMHO. I've never liked the 'Do as I say, Not as I do' approach to life, it's just plain hypocritical.
My
Ninjarider87
Relentless Janitor
i wish my dad rode a bike when i was a kid ;(
CurveSurfer
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I get what the OP is saying (though I'm not sure I'd go quite a far to act upon it).
We all tend to rationalize that if we're hurt or worse it was "doing what we loved." But in fact, there's a lot more to life than burning dead dinos while accelerating, braking, and turning a machine.
We only say it's worth the risk because we don't really think it will happen to us. If someone told me I could ride for 10 years, but the price to pay was becoming a quadriplegic or death, there's no way that's worth it. Life is too short already and so rich with other experiences that riding is trivial in comparison.
Of course, that's not the deal we make. We trade the rewards for the *chance* of these outcomes (though we probably underestimate those chances).
So we enjoy the reward and take the risk, in part because we really only think of ourselves. We think about how WE would feel if we were paralyzed or died, not the impact on families or friends. So it's a selfish decision.
So if we're okay making a selfish decision for ourselves, it's natural to continue to make selfish decisions. If I was a parent I can see trying to shelter my kids from becoming part of the carnage we see every year in our community...primarily because I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life with that loss, and knowing I got them into the hobby that killed them.
Selfish? Yes. Hypocritical? That too. Honest? You bet.
That said, there's a difference between thinking like this and acting upon it. Just like I want others to respect my decisions, we have to let them make theirs. And I imagine the hardest part of parenting is letting kids try things that their parents wish they wouldn't. Still, that doesn't mean we have to encourage friends/families/kids to try things that put them at risk, even if we take those risk ourselves...
We all tend to rationalize that if we're hurt or worse it was "doing what we loved." But in fact, there's a lot more to life than burning dead dinos while accelerating, braking, and turning a machine.
We only say it's worth the risk because we don't really think it will happen to us. If someone told me I could ride for 10 years, but the price to pay was becoming a quadriplegic or death, there's no way that's worth it. Life is too short already and so rich with other experiences that riding is trivial in comparison.
Of course, that's not the deal we make. We trade the rewards for the *chance* of these outcomes (though we probably underestimate those chances).
So we enjoy the reward and take the risk, in part because we really only think of ourselves. We think about how WE would feel if we were paralyzed or died, not the impact on families or friends. So it's a selfish decision.
So if we're okay making a selfish decision for ourselves, it's natural to continue to make selfish decisions. If I was a parent I can see trying to shelter my kids from becoming part of the carnage we see every year in our community...primarily because I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life with that loss, and knowing I got them into the hobby that killed them.
Selfish? Yes. Hypocritical? That too. Honest? You bet.
That said, there's a difference between thinking like this and acting upon it. Just like I want others to respect my decisions, we have to let them make theirs. And I imagine the hardest part of parenting is letting kids try things that their parents wish they wouldn't. Still, that doesn't mean we have to encourage friends/families/kids to try things that put them at risk, even if we take those risk ourselves...
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mean dad
verum super omnia
fuckin weak brother, fuckin weak son, fuckin weak dad.
Actually, I do try to talk people out of riding.
If what they do is influenced by what I have to say about the risks of riding, then maybe I opened their eyes a little bit to something they didn't see.
If their eyes are wide open and already see the risks and yet still want to ride (like me) then I tell them how I try to negotiate around the risks.
I don't call myself a hypocrite like you though. I just want to make sure (in my mind) they see the whole picture.
Edit: I did buy my son his first bike before he was born. I won't have to ask if he understands the risks because I've started training him already.
If what they do is influenced by what I have to say about the risks of riding, then maybe I opened their eyes a little bit to something they didn't see.
If their eyes are wide open and already see the risks and yet still want to ride (like me) then I tell them how I try to negotiate around the risks.
I don't call myself a hypocrite like you though. I just want to make sure (in my mind) they see the whole picture.
Edit: I did buy my son his first bike before he was born. I won't have to ask if he understands the risks because I've started training him already.
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maybe when your name isn't "mean dad" and your sign doesn't say "spittin game to drop panties" I wont think you aren't a total tool.
Kevin, do you have a friend/family member who you know would crash if they got a bike? Have you ever been on a group ride and pointed out the guy who as gonna crash?
Yo!Joe!!!
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Actually, I do talk people out of riding. And that's because every other noob that I meet wants to get an R1. Cuz ya know, an R6 "is a girl's bike..!" 
I don't tell people how to live their own lives, I dont assume I know what's best for everyone else, and I dont assume that I know best, I am the one with the secret knowledge, and I am the one capable of making decisions for other people. and I sure as hell aint going to be "that guy" who is a hypocritical ahole.
anyone acting as if they know what is best for others, is an idiot. no one knows best for anyone else, fuck most people barely know what is best for themselevs.
I would never, EVER, talk someone out of riding. I would probably try to explain beginner bikes, what I have learned, and what I think. but I will never make others decisions for them. hw would YOU feel if today your dad walked into your garage and fucked up your bike, to protect you from yourself? maybe I just had wise parent. in high school when I wanted a bike, my mom did not want me to get one. though she rode as a youn gadult. sahe never said I COULDN'T, just that she would not take part in helping me do so. I took the course, passed, took the test, bought my own bike, and she signed off for me as a 16 year old to get my liscence. your job as a parent is not to prtect your kids from the world, but to teach them to protect themsleves
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Well, that is where we differ
no, where we differ is that you think you have access to some special wisdom and skill where YOU can ride, and expose your family to the same things(fears, worry, uncertainty, injury or death) you find unacceptable to be exposed to.
where we differ, is that you are an astounding hypocrite, and a coward.