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How much does a divorce cost?

RX311 said:
Well, brief talk yesterday and a long talk tonight. Talked about everything from the kid to possessions to retirement and also about options. She was okay with our daughter staying with me and we agreed that she would continue to use the studio attached to the garage, which is setup as an office, for her job so that she can continue to take and pick up the kid from school. We admitted our faults to each other and talked about things that we didn't like and would like changed. She said that she wanted to find a place stay temporarily (the house belongs to my family) while we try to work things out and I'm good with that. She did say that she didn't want anything from me, alimony or any of my retirement, and that there's no reason to sell the bike if we do end up splitting (no, I didn't get it in writing). She doesn't want it to get to the point of where we hate each other. I'm hoping for the best and thanks for the responses and my using this as an outlet.
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This sounds very much like my recently ended relationship. Definitely try to stay on amicable terms and not fucking each other over. Our daugher is 7, so it's a little big harder on her (she doesn't understand why mommy and papa can't live together) but she's taken to it rather well. I never have and never will say anything bad about my ex in front of the kiddo. She's a great mom, even if she is a shitty partner.

Lucky you get to keep the bike. I had to sell mine to get cash for moving. The ex still has hers though :mad
 
Kornholio said:
I understand if no one else agrees with me on this, but if you have to complete a pre-nup, you probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
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people change. relationships go bad - you'll never be able to predict it consistently ahead of time. you're just fooling yourself if you think you can.

if you do split, it's messy and you have a lot of assets, you'll be happy you aren't giving half your stuff to someone you hate because of the prenup.
 
mike23w said:
people change. relationships go bad - you'll never be able to predict it consistently ahead of time. you're just fooling yourself if you think you can.

if you do split, it's messy and you have a lot of assets, you'll be happy you aren't giving half your stuff to someone you hate because of the prenup.
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:wow
 

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mike23w said:
people change. relationships go bad - you'll never be able to predict it consistently ahead of time. you're just fooling yourself if you think you can.

if you do split, it's messy and you have a lot of assets, you'll be happy you aren't giving half your stuff to someone you hate because of the prenup.
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And I'm just saying that if a woman told me we couldn't be married without a pre-nup, I wouldn't marry her. I guess I just have a different idea about what marriage is about. And no, I'm not religious. :p
 
The financial part of it can be expensive, but the most expensive part is the black mark on your soul that it leaves. My advice.... do it as fast as fucking possible.
 
If you can keep lawyers out of it, you can do it relatively cheaply.

As soon as you get lawyers involved, you can count on your bank accounts getting cleaned out and the bad feelings to last a lifetime.

Most family law lawyers will stir up whatever shit they can find in order to maximize the increase to their bank accounts. And, almost all of them will talk 'off line' with the opposing attorneys to compare notes on how much money there is to mine from both of you. Regardless of how they may all interact in front of their clients, most of them are buddies, and why not when it's much more profitable for them all to be interacting and collaborating.

A common tactic by the lawyers is to tell the side that makes less that they should be getting much more than they should, then telling the side that makes more that the other side should be getting much less than they should. By building up false expectations, they ensure that both sides feel like the other is being extremely unreasonable and that they're being cheated. Simple but effective. With emotions already being high, this will usually spin everything out of control and put $10's of thousands of dollars into the lawyers pockets and leaves the divorcing parties broke and paying off the divorce for years.

So, whatever you do, try and keep it clean and lawyer-free because you will both lose in the end if you don't.
 
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For Motorcycles "speed is a question of money, how fast can you afford to go?"

For Divorce: "Anger cost a lot of money, how angry can you afford to be?" If you're going to fight over every single issue, you're going to be angry AND broke. It's a community property state, most of the assets are going to be divided in half. The home is likely going to have to be refinanced to buy out the other spouse unless another equitable arrangement can be made. Treat it like winding up a business, get your assets in line, valuations complete, try to get some stipulations between yourself and your soon to be ex and try to get along while doing so, and you will save a lot of money. As someone stated earlier, treat it like WW3 and it will be as costly and productive as a war. (An inverse relationship in my experience).
 
MrIncredible said:
What is it about to you?
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Love, commitment and trust with a person I intended on spending the rest of my life with. A person that I trust more than anyone else. If I can't trust her, I wouldn't marry her. Perhaps that's why my ex-wife and I were able to split amicably without slinging mud or attacking each others bank accounts. We grew apart and decided to go our separate ways.

I think a lot of laws regarding marriage and divorce in this state are despicable. Marriage shouldn't be treated like a business venture. It takes all the purpose and meaning out of being with the person you love for life. It's no wonder to me that people don't get married much anymore. Other than financial reasons, what's the point?
 
Do you know why divorce is so expensive?









Because its worth it! :teeth

Any ways good luck. Divorces can be cheap if no kids or property, but kids and property complicate divorces.

The reason I do not handle family law matters is they get ugly very quickly. Whenever you talk about taking away someone's kids it gets personal very fast and thorns come out. They are also the main reason lawyers get shot and courthouses have metal detectors.
 
Mine cost about $5k. If you haven't been advised yet, file for seperation. From that point on any debt incrued is not shared. Good luck, expect about 2 years of wondering and doubt. And yes, it was worth it.
 
You can call me Ross Geller cause I've gone through two now. Both were amicable (sp) and both were done with regular old forms found in various places. In Oregon back in 1996 we did it with a packet we purcased at Office Depot. In Califronia in 2006 all forms were downloaded on the Internet. It can be done if you can come to agreements on dividing stuffs.
 
Kornholio said:
Love, commitment and trust with a person I intended on spending the rest of my life with. A person that I trust more than anyone else. If I can't trust her, I wouldn't marry her. Perhaps that's why my ex-wife and I were able to split amicably without slinging mud or attacking each others bank accounts. We grew apart and decided to go our separate ways.
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I find it odd you're talking about what a serious commitment marriage is when you go on to discuss how amicable your divorce was. The statements seem inconsistent.

Kornholio said:
I think a lot of laws regarding marriage and divorce in this state are despicable. Marriage shouldn't be treated like a business venture. It takes all the purpose and meaning out of being with the person you love for life. It's no wonder to me that people don't get married much anymore. Other than financial reasons, what's the point?
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I'm pretty sure it started off with the sole intention of being a business venture-why else did a dowry exist?
 
OP, I am glad you and the wife are being mature about this and I hope you both stay level headed.

I did NOT run my ex through the ringer during our divorce. Not all wimmenz are out to screw a man over when they separate.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. This is going to hurt for a while but it will be better once some time has passed. :)
 
MrIncredible said:
I find it odd you're talking about what a serious commitment marriage is when you go on to discuss how amicable your divorce was. The statements seem inconsistent.
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Just because it was a commitment to me, doesn't mean it was to her. I'm not the one who filed for divorce. Still, that doesn't mean it can't end amicably.


MrIncredible said:
I'm pretty sure it started off with the sole intention of being a business venture-why else did a dowry exist?
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Because people didn't think rationally until recently? How should I know? There was a lot of stone-aged crap going on back in the day that is ridiculous by modern standards. I'm sure many folks today, religious or otherwise, would strongly disagree with the fact that they got married because they saw it as a business proposition.
 
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