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Meaningless statements

The word "soft" on every package of toilet paper. I'm still looking for a brand that says "ours is a little scratchy but you won't get shit on your hand!"
 
"experts agree.."
"some people are saying..."

and other variations of the same vague description of "we made this sh*t up ourselves and this is our way of making it plausibly deniable" that the media uses for character and cause assassination these days.
 
How's My Driving?
1-800-xxx-xxxx

:rolleyes
 
With all due respect
In reality...
At the end of the day...
Basically...
To be honest...
In my opinion...
Going forward...
It is what it is...
Don't get me wrong...


It's always in the last place that you look. (No fucking shit.)
I'll see you when I see you. (RLY?)
It's the least I can do. (Lazy bastard.)
Trust me. (No.)
You're not going to believe this but... (I already don't.)



How 'bout some annoying business jargon? These are my favorite.

Core Competency (My employer uses this one.)
Buy-In (My employer uses this one.)
Empower (My employer uses this one.)
Bleeding Edge (Really?)
Lots of moving parts (Too complex for you to articulate?)
Corporate Values (...Assinine.)
Best Practice (My employer uses this one. I cringe when I hear this.)
Solution (My employer used to refer to personal training as Solutions. Ugh.)
Leverage (Enough with the buzzwords...)
Reach Out (Oh, you mean Contact? Talk to? Communicate with?)
Take it to the next level (One of the most insubstantial and impotent phrases ever created.)
 
oorahduc said:
Core Competency (My employer uses this one.)
Buy-In (My employer uses this one.)
Empower (My employer uses this one.)
Bleeding Edge (Really?)
Lots of moving parts (Too complex for you to articulate?)
Corporate Values (...Assinine.)
Best Practice (My employer uses this one. I cringe when I hear this.)
Solution (My employer used to refer to personal training as Solutions. Ugh.)
Leverage (Enough with the buzzwords...)
Reach Out (Oh, you mean Contact? Talk to? Communicate with?)
Take it to the next level (One of the most insubstantial and impotent phrases ever created.)
Click to expand...

All corporations use this crap. I refuse to partake. People who use these (and many other) phrases in conversation without cringing frighten me. They're either in kahootz with the devil or too stupid to know any better.
 
aminalmutha said:
All corporations use this crap. I refuse to partake. People who use these (and many other) phrases in conversation without cringing frighten me. They're either in kahootz with the devil or too stupid to know any better.
Click to expand...

Or, reacting to something they like... "Strong!"

Good god that one popped up a few years ago and I wanted to fucking stab everyone.

...I'm starting to feel like :afm199

:)rofl I love that the smiley code for that is afm199!)
 
satisfaction guaranteed or your money back...


...on a free product :)
 
oorahduc said:
With all due respect

Best Practice (My employer uses this one. I cringe when I hear this.)
Click to expand...

Gods do I hate this one. Customers use it all the time. It seems to be code for "I couldn't bother to read how to configure your software correctly." That our they are somehow convinced that support has some super double secret ways of doing things that is not in our documentation that will save them overhead or overages.
Fuuuck I need to get out of this half customer support, half operations position into a full operations position.
:laughing
Yakoo752 said:
"Pillars of Excellence"
Click to expand...

Working for APR or another company that hired that same customer service public speaker dude from training and consulting?
:rofl
 
We are an "upscale" business. If you were, you wouldn't have to keep saying it. Reminds me of those ghetto people who name their kids King or Doctor.
 
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