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What was your strangest date ever?

SummerLove said:
Holy hell reading this has made me feel way less awkward.
:rofl
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Well, if you've got teeth as opposed to blackened, rotting stumps, then you're doing a hell of a lot better than at least ONE guy...

Oh, and I forgot to add, that guy wouldn't stop talking about his Mama.
That is never a good sign.
 
Dubbington said:
Now mind you a little junk in the trunk is cool but this just didnt seem physically possible. Her back was to the entrance of the kitchen and the entire night the hispanic wait staff kept walking by staring and commenting on he ass. One even made the hand "wide" gesture to his buddy. :facepalm
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Tell her not to wear lycra to a public eating establishment.

gallery_pic_8480_77559.jpg
 
So I go to a business meeting with some guys I know well. One of them had a new secretary/assistant, super fucking hot. Scale of one to ten she was a 15. Couldn't take my eyes off of her. End of the meeting I pulled her boss aside and asked what the deal was. He told me to go for it, she is a really nice church going girl. But I probably wont get far.

I take the challenge. She is dressed super conservative, pants suit, glasses, mid twenties. Hair up in a bun. Looked like a goody two shoes. I started a conversation, asked her out. She said yes. Took her out the following night.

I pick her up at her place, she answers the door in mini skirt and tiny top, hair down. I'm thinking fuck yeah! We head out for some drinks. On the way to the bar, she asks me if I've got any pot. I told her I was out. (didn't tell her I haven't smoked in years) She says she knows someplace we can get some. We make a detour and pick some up.

Smoke a joint, head to the bar/restaurant. Start pounding drinks, had some appetizers. Feeling awesome. She says fuck this place, I want to dance. I know a place, we go there. We get there. She puts on a show, dirty dancing, this girl is sexy as fuck. She can drink, we are doing shots. We are making out, practically having sex on the dance floor. Because of the joint I smoked I'm fucking wasted. Drinks were hitting me hard. She is no goody two shoes, boy was I wrong about her.

I say, lets get a room. She says lets do it. We get into the room, she is ripping off my clothes, I'm ripping off her clothes. Her body is so fucking hot. I'm kissing her all over. She is grabbing my hard cock. Then the worst moment of my life. She says the words "I want you to pee all over me". :green I start to gag. She says: "Its ok if we make a mess, its a hotel." I start wondering, how many guys have pissed all over this crazy bitch, I was just kissing all over. :barf

She sees I'm upset and asks me whats wrong. I tell her its gross, not my thing. She starts criticizing me. Calling me a prude. Tells me it really gets her off. That I'm missing out. I put on my clothes, walk out and leave her there. Brushed my teeth and gargled a few times when I got home. I've never been so grossed out in my life.

Next time I see her boss, she gives me dirty looks. He asked me what happened on our date. He could tell she was pissed at me, but didn't know why. I told him she was too goody two shoes for me. He told me, I told you so. :laughing
 
I went out with a woman, a marine biologist, that carried her own brass spittoon....

(she grew up in Davis)
 
A while back my coworker set me up on the blind date. Didn't give me any info on the chick, only said that she's really cool girl. I called and we chated a bit. Meeting next day on Union Square. I recognize her from the description she gave me, come over and introduce myself. I'm wearing some kinda t-shirt with gun pics on and Infidel hat. She sees that and went crazy. Started talking about baby killers, world peace, tree hugging and bunny fucking hippie shit. I couldn't even say a word. She's getting louder and louder and people start looking our way. Finally she stopped to catch her breath and the only thing that I had came to mind to ask was "so, I guess it means no anal, eh?!" I thought she's getting a heart attack. I left.
Oh, well. :(
 
RRR70 said:
A while back my coworker set me up on the blind date. Didn't give me any info on the chick, only said that she's really cool girl. I called and we chated a bit. Meeting next day on Union Square. I recognize her from the description she gave me, come over and introduce myself. I'm wearing some kinda t-shirt with gun pics on and Infidel hat. She sees that and went crazy. Started talking about baby killers, world peace, tree hugging and bunny fucking hippie shit. I couldn't even say a word. She's getting louder and louder and people start looking our way. Finally she stopped to catch her breath and the only thing that I had came to mind to ask was "so, I guess it means no anal, eh?!" I thought she's getting a heart attack. I left.
Oh, well. :(
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:rofl
 
Met a real nice girl. This led to that. We ended up at my house one night, and everything was just fine and dandy. The next morning I drop her off at her mothers house, and, and, and......nothing. No calls. No emails. No messages. No nothing, for 2 weeks. I talk to her mother, and she said that she would have her call me. So she calls me. And tells me, that she is very, very, religious. And she has been at Church confessing. She felt very guilty. I think it was the truth. We go out a few more times, and each time we end up at my place, same thing for the next few weeks. I finally asked her, if it made her feel so guilty, why did she do it? Well, she actually liked me. It lasted a few months, religion just doesn't work for me, although I will admit to attending a few different churches to meet women.

Another time, I'm working in Santa Clara at some machine shop on Walsh, and ask one of the deburr girls out for lunch, Yes, OK. We get to lunch, I'm doing most of the talking, and it finally occurred to me that she didn't speak english. Do you speak english? Yes. You don't understand what I'm saying, do you? Yes. What would you like to eat? Yes.

Another time, I ask one of the ladies from work out, and it never fuckin' occurred to me to ask if she was a vegetarian or not. Very uncomfortable at the steakhouse. I felt pretty damn stupid.
 
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wow! you all are sooooo awesome it makes me feel really square just reading this shit:laughing
 
Horse said:
So I go to a business meeting with some guys I know well. One of them had a new secretary/assistant, super fucking hot. Scale of one to ten she was a 15. Couldn't take my eyes off of her. End of the meeting I pulled her boss aside and asked what the deal was. He told me to go for it, she is a really nice church going girl. But I probably wont get far.

I take the challenge. She is dressed super conservative, pants suit, glasses, mid twenties. Hair up in a bun. Looked like a goody two shoes. I started a conversation, asked her out. She said yes. Took her out the following night.

I pick her up at her place, she answers the door in mini skirt and tiny top, hair down. I'm thinking fuck yeah! We head out for some drinks. On the way to the bar, she asks me if I've got any pot. I told her I was out. (didn't tell her I haven't smoked in years) She says she knows someplace we can get some. We make a detour and pick some up.

Smoke a joint, head to the bar/restaurant. Start pounding drinks, had some appetizers. Feeling awesome. She says fuck this place, I want to dance. I know a place, we go there. We get there. She puts on a show, dirty dancing, this girl is sexy as fuck. She can drink, we are doing shots. We are making out, practically having sex on the dance floor. Because of the joint I smoked I'm fucking wasted. Drinks were hitting me hard. She is no goody two shoes, boy was I wrong about her.

I say, lets get a room. She says lets do it. We get into the room, she is ripping off my clothes, I'm ripping off her clothes. Her body is so fucking hot. I'm kissing her all over. She is grabbing my hard cock. Then the worst moment of my life. She says the words "I want you to pee all over me". :green I start to gag. She says: "Its ok if we make a mess, its a hotel." I start wondering, how many guys have pissed all over this crazy bitch, I was just kissing all over. :barf

She sees I'm upset and asks me whats wrong. I tell her its gross, not my thing. She starts criticizing me. Calling me a prude. Tells me it really gets her off. That I'm missing out. I put on my clothes, walk out and leave her there. Brushed my teeth and gargled a few times when I got home. I've never been so grossed out in my life.

Next time I see her boss, she gives me dirty looks. He asked me what happened on our date. He could tell she was pissed at me, but didn't know why. I told him she was too goody two shoes for me. He told me, I told you so. :laughing
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So, if what you're saying is true....Can I have her number? :party :twofinger
 
MrIncredible said:
Idk but if he's spazzing so much at what she might have had on her at one point I wonder is he never kisses any of 'em on the mouth.
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:laughing I was just thinking the same thing. If you've kissed anyone after high school, I'd say there's around a 90% chance that they've put their mouth somewhere you wouldn't before.

Then again, 75% of statistics are made up.
 
Horse said:
She sees I'm upset and asks me whats wrong. I tell her its gross, not my thing. She starts criticizing me. Calling me a prude. Tells me it really gets her off. That I'm missing out. I put on my clothes, walk out and leave her there. Brushed my teeth and gargled a few times when I got home. I've never been so grossed out in my life.
Click to expand...

tumblr_lbiq4vXHWE1qc3ytno1_500.png
 
Horse said:
So I go to a business meeting with some guys I know well. One of them had a new secretary/assistant, super fucking hot. Scale of one to ten she was a 15. Couldn't take my eyes off of her. End of the meeting I pulled her boss aside and asked what the deal was. He told me to go for it, she is a really nice church going girl. But I probably wont get far.

I take the challenge. She is dressed super conservative, pants suit, glasses, mid twenties. Hair up in a bun. Looked like a goody two shoes. I started a conversation, asked her out. She said yes. Took her out the following night.

I pick her up at her place, she answers the door in mini skirt and tiny top, hair down. I'm thinking fuck yeah! We head out for some drinks. On the way to the bar, she asks me if I've got any pot. I told her I was out. (didn't tell her I haven't smoked in years) She says she knows someplace we can get some. We make a detour and pick some up.

Smoke a joint, head to the bar/restaurant. Start pounding drinks, had some appetizers. Feeling awesome. She says fuck this place, I want to dance. I know a place, we go there. We get there. She puts on a show, dirty dancing, this girl is sexy as fuck. She can drink, we are doing shots. We are making out, practically having sex on the dance floor. Because of the joint I smoked I'm fucking wasted. Drinks were hitting me hard. She is no goody two shoes, boy was I wrong about her.

I say, lets get a room. She says lets do it. We get into the room, she is ripping off my clothes, I'm ripping off her clothes. Her body is so fucking hot. I'm kissing her all over. She is grabbing my hard cock. Then the worst moment of my life. She says the words "I want you to pee all over me". :green I start to gag. She says: "Its ok if we make a mess, its a hotel." I start wondering, how many guys have pissed all over this crazy bitch, I was just kissing all over. :barf

She sees I'm upset and asks me whats wrong. I tell her its gross, not my thing. She starts criticizing me. Calling me a prude. Tells me it really gets her off. That I'm missing out. I put on my clothes, walk out and leave her there. Brushed my teeth and gargled a few times when I got home. I've never been so grossed out in my life.

Next time I see her boss, she gives me dirty looks. He asked me what happened on our date. He could tell she was pissed at me, but didn't know why. I told him she was too goody two shoes for me. He told me, I told you so. :laughing
Click to expand...

I guess rimming her is out of the question, eh?
 
Gross! :barf Yeah, ya'll gotta watch out for those church girls, you never know what kinda kink they are into :p

These are so funny! :laughing It is so awful! How do you people even get brave enough to go out for another date? :laughing
 
Godsdarling said:
Gross! :barf Yeah, ya'll gotta watch out for those church girls, you never know what kinda kink they are into :p

These are so funny! :laughing It is so awful! How do you people even get brave enough to go out for another date? :laughing
Click to expand...

Just gotta get back on the....Horse


:laughing
 
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