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Ask Eldritch (I don't recommend it)

tuxumino said:
Dear Eldritch,
is it against the Geneva convention to torture someone by taking their shoes and socks off, smearing cat food on the bottoms of their feet and having kittens lick it off?
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I just let out a squeal and can't stop my feet from twitching right now. :laughing :laughing
 
Eldo delivers!!! ha ha. thanks for NYT link too.

THe Irish Mexican thing has a personal angle. I had a violinist in my band, an American girl, who lived in Mexico and started an Irish band. Then she moved to Ireland to go to college and started a mariachi band. There is a persistent connection going back to 19th century with the San Patricio Battalion who fought in Mexico.

But it still would seem weird to get a burrito there. OTOH, I had Mexi food in Berlin, at the Cafe Dolores, which was a complete lift from Mission Street. Pro-tip: the chips just sucked. They just weren't right.
 
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Bay Arean said:
Eldo delivers!!! ha ha. thanks for NYT link too.

THe Irish Mexican thing has a personal angle. I had a violinist in my band, an American girl, who lived in Mexico and started an Irish band. Then she moved to Ireland to go to college and started a mariachi band. There is a persistent connection going back to 19th century with the San Patricio Battalion who fought in Mexico.

But it still would seem weird to get a burrito there. OTOH, I had Mexi food in Berlin, at the Cafe Dolores, which was a complete lift from Mission Street. Pro-tip: the chips just sucked. They just weren't right.
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I blame The Pope.

FXCLM5 said:
Dear Eldritch

How can we reboot the motorcycle industry?
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Good question, I recommend: https://www.westfield.com/sanfrancisco/stores/all-stores/shoe-wiz/14909 for downtown San Francisco. They have rebooted one pair of boots and one pair of dress shoe for me in the last few years and they do excellent work. I am about to take another pair of boots in this week.
 
Hey Eldirty,
Is the heat killing my peppers?
Why are my peppers so good?
Is there anything wrong with making salsa for the people.
 
Dear Eldritch,

I would like to pray a 9-day novena to St. Jude of Thadeus for a new job while concurrently dating a Korean hooker. Would my prayer be favorably answered by St. Jude or am I fucked?

Deepest man-to-man-sans-M4M fondness,
lizard
 
Melissa said:
Hey Eldirty,
Is the heat killing my peppers?
Why are my peppers so good?
Is there anything wrong with making salsa for the people.
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No, the peppers are fine with heat. Any damage to your peppers has been done by the CIA in a clandestine act of micro-aggression.

They are delicious, because they are peppers. People love peppers. If they were not going to be delicious, they would fuckin’ call them something else.

There is nothing wrong with making salsa for people unless they are the secret government fuckers trying to destroy your plants. Do not share with those guys and use aluminum foil as an agent to divert their brain scanning tools.

lizard said:
Dear Eldritch,
I would like to pray a 9-day novena to St. Jude of Thadeus for a new job while concurrently dating a Korean hooker. Would my prayer be favorably answered by St. Jude or am I fucked?
Deepest man-to-man-sans-M4M fondness,
lizard
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Well, as your goal is to be fucked and be answered favorably, you must do an additional tribute. Once the Novena to Jude is complete, you must practice a second Novena to St. Nicholas, who is the patron St. of prostitutes (yes kids, Christmas often cums early).

Each day upon the altar, you must present in a hand carved bowl of either cedar, pine, or cypress (in honor of the Holy Cross), a gold coin covered in kimchee. At the end of the last three days, you must do 6 Ave Maria’s with no pants on. If you are not arrested, the saints will look favorably on your endeavor.
 
Dear Eldirty,
I am glad that I asked you! Makes so much sense in that kinda conspirators we all know wht's really going on way.
 
Dear Eldritch

Why is this weather cray cray, last week we were almost 110, this week we barely in the low 80s\high 70s
 
augustiron said:
Dear Eldritch,
What the hell are you doing living in Marin county?
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Crushing my enemies, seeing them driven before me, and hearing the lamentations of their women.

Also, I have some elderly family up here that needed me to be closer by in case of emergencies for a few years. I am the oldest male of our tribe in my generation, so I have to keep an eye on the elders. We just put the old man in a home, so I may be moving out of Marin again soon.

FXCLM5 said:
Dear Eldritch

Why is this weather cray cray, last week we were almost 110, this week we barely in the low 80s\high 70s
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The global warming problem has been exacerbated in the Bay Area by the constant useless weeping of Millennials with feels. The associated salt and humidity created by the rivers of feel weepers as they continue to realize that real grown ups don't give a shit about how they self identify and no one's opinion actually has value, especially theirs, because you ain't worth shit till you've done shit.

I'm hoping a new consolidation project to mine the salt of millennial tears to sell to Gen Xers, who enjoy feasting upon the tears of shattered dreams, but expect the climate to continue to be volatile for some coming years.
 
Our generation gave up on our dreams the moment MTV stopped playing music videos, why should the Millennials get any. :twofinger
 
Eldritch:

I've managed to survive this far by sucking the blood from the younger generations and basking in luxury and decadence. Should I continue to do this and reconcile myself to several years of increasing senility and abuse by the younger generation, or turn my life around, give away my assets, and become a monk to repent?
 
afm199 said:
Eldritch:

I've managed to survive this far by sucking the blood from the younger generations and basking in luxury and decadence. Should I continue to do this and reconcile myself to several years of increasing senility and abuse by the younger generation, or turn my life around, give away my assets, and become a monk to repent?
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Great question...:rofl
 
Sitting on pins and needles for this answer. This is so much better than Miss Manners. :thumbup
 
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