HappyHighwayman
It's all in the reflexes
How big is a piece of string?
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Ask Eldritch (I don't recommend it)
- Thread starter Eldritch
- Start date
Eldritch
is insensitive
Ye gods. 13 years later and the quest for knowledge begins anew. 
Very well, I shall do my best, but as previously stated at the beginning of this thread, asking Eldritch is never advised. Listening to Eldritch is strongly discouraged.
I love zombies and always have, ever since I saw my first Zombie picture as a kid during the golden age of Romero in the 1980’s. That being said, I do not trust zombies and have long been training to kill them just in case, just like everything else I love.
Philadelphia Sports teams hold a long and proud tradition which often dives into the Patriotic roots of Philadelphia’s role as the founding Capital of our nation, and the State of Pennsylvania as one of the original 13 revolutionary Colonies, as can be exampled by team names such as the Eagles and (17) 76ers. The Philadelphia Philles baseball team is the single oldest single name, single City Sports franchise in the United States, being founded and staying in Philadelphia since the late 19th Century. These are sprots franchise with a deep rooted sense of history.
Philadelphia Sports FANS, however are cultureless cretins that don’t actually qualify as human. With no interest in winning, they enjoy sports only to feed on the pain of others, which is nectar necessary for them to survive. Philly Sports fans enjoy a cultish system of ranking that grants promotion for such intolerable acts as giving AIDS to grandmas, vomiting on children, and punching horses square in the face.
I still have my 919, and love it. I bought a vinyl kit some while back to try and clean up the look of the older bike. I applied one piece as a test on my first attempt, kind of butchered it, and have not tried to complete it since. The vinyl covered side panel is still intact and a sexy albeit wrinkly around the edges, dark metallic blue.
Your description creates some serious questions for me about what you are using a ball gag for, but the default answer is if you are involved, then yes, full homo. Half leather, full glitter, with a pornstache.
Best time of year is in the offseason, you want to go when the kids are in school. Late September is fantastic, because the kids are all back in school, the weather in L.A. is quite tolerable, and the park has been transformed for their Halloween Celebration, which offers extra surprises and a few rides (Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion) dressed up outside their normal character, for a different experience than normal. Best time is to fly in on a Saturday, and go party in the downtown Disney/Anaheim Garden walk Area. Sunday you go in the park to take advantage of the still extended weekend hours, as many of the tourists will have left to fly back by lunchtime, so the late hours on Sunday are excellent. Monday and Tuesday are great days with more limited hours to catch the things you missed on Sunday. Getting an annual pas with blackout dates is a great guide. They make tickets a real bargain if you go twice a year or more, and the blackout dates are the days YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE THERE, due to crowds.
The newly opened Star Wars Land is going to create a royal clusterfuck once it is open to the public this summer. I intend to avoid the park this year and possibly the next few. Plans have been announced to open a New Marvel Land in California Adventure as soon as 2021, which will cause a parallel hysteria, as Star Wars more than likely will still be a global attraction until 2023 if I had to guess. If you have a need and just can’t miss the park for the next few years, use the above guidelines. Keep in mind, knowing how to navigate to the bars in California Adventure to keep your flow on point is critical to surviving the park.
Great question. In order to determine the rational answer one must look at the data provided. A, “piece,” being a typically nondenominational reference, must be determined using reasonable assumptions about human language. Now, Feud has taught us that sexual urges underpin most modes of human behavior, and using that accepted research, we can reference the most relatable common language reference, which is, “a piece of ass,” as in, “Ima get me a piece of ass tonight, if I got to blow my whole check.” Now understanding the piece of ass as our form of logical reference, which is totally SCIENCE, we have to understand the average ass size in America, which is 40”. Given our understanding of the language, and the measurement, this allows us to use SCIENCE to understand that a, “piece of string is 40”. Keep in mind that this is an American measurement, much as the imperial/ metric difference, the European piece of string is 34” and a bit sad, with the exception of the Mediterranean Nations (Italy, Greece, Etc.) who measure on the African standard of 45”, which is known in their dialects as a, “Donk of String.” In Asia, there is no piece of string to be found in local dialects due to a lack of reference, with the exception of the Philippines, which alternates between the European Piece and the Donk, depending on which island you are referencing.
So, in the United States, a 20” piece of string is technically known as a Half-Ass piece of string, which is more commonly used than the Olde English reference, to an, “Ass of String,” a measurement that never caught on, but misreading of old literature referencing as such in the works of Shelley did result in an article of clothing being created as beach wear in Miami.
Very well, I shall do my best, but as previously stated at the beginning of this thread, asking Eldritch is never advised. Listening to Eldritch is strongly discouraged. I love zombies and always have, ever since I saw my first Zombie picture as a kid during the golden age of Romero in the 1980’s. That being said, I do not trust zombies and have long been training to kill them just in case, just like everything else I love.
Philadelphia Sports teams hold a long and proud tradition which often dives into the Patriotic roots of Philadelphia’s role as the founding Capital of our nation, and the State of Pennsylvania as one of the original 13 revolutionary Colonies, as can be exampled by team names such as the Eagles and (17) 76ers. The Philadelphia Philles baseball team is the single oldest single name, single City Sports franchise in the United States, being founded and staying in Philadelphia since the late 19th Century. These are sprots franchise with a deep rooted sense of history.
Philadelphia Sports FANS, however are cultureless cretins that don’t actually qualify as human. With no interest in winning, they enjoy sports only to feed on the pain of others, which is nectar necessary for them to survive. Philly Sports fans enjoy a cultish system of ranking that grants promotion for such intolerable acts as giving AIDS to grandmas, vomiting on children, and punching horses square in the face.
I still have my 919, and love it. I bought a vinyl kit some while back to try and clean up the look of the older bike. I applied one piece as a test on my first attempt, kind of butchered it, and have not tried to complete it since. The vinyl covered side panel is still intact and a sexy albeit wrinkly around the edges, dark metallic blue.
Your description creates some serious questions for me about what you are using a ball gag for, but the default answer is if you are involved, then yes, full homo. Half leather, full glitter, with a pornstache.
When is the best time of the year to visit the Magic Kingdom?
Best time of year is in the offseason, you want to go when the kids are in school. Late September is fantastic, because the kids are all back in school, the weather in L.A. is quite tolerable, and the park has been transformed for their Halloween Celebration, which offers extra surprises and a few rides (Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion) dressed up outside their normal character, for a different experience than normal. Best time is to fly in on a Saturday, and go party in the downtown Disney/Anaheim Garden walk Area. Sunday you go in the park to take advantage of the still extended weekend hours, as many of the tourists will have left to fly back by lunchtime, so the late hours on Sunday are excellent. Monday and Tuesday are great days with more limited hours to catch the things you missed on Sunday. Getting an annual pas with blackout dates is a great guide. They make tickets a real bargain if you go twice a year or more, and the blackout dates are the days YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE THERE, due to crowds.
The newly opened Star Wars Land is going to create a royal clusterfuck once it is open to the public this summer. I intend to avoid the park this year and possibly the next few. Plans have been announced to open a New Marvel Land in California Adventure as soon as 2021, which will cause a parallel hysteria, as Star Wars more than likely will still be a global attraction until 2023 if I had to guess. If you have a need and just can’t miss the park for the next few years, use the above guidelines. Keep in mind, knowing how to navigate to the bars in California Adventure to keep your flow on point is critical to surviving the park.
Great question. In order to determine the rational answer one must look at the data provided. A, “piece,” being a typically nondenominational reference, must be determined using reasonable assumptions about human language. Now, Feud has taught us that sexual urges underpin most modes of human behavior, and using that accepted research, we can reference the most relatable common language reference, which is, “a piece of ass,” as in, “Ima get me a piece of ass tonight, if I got to blow my whole check.” Now understanding the piece of ass as our form of logical reference, which is totally SCIENCE, we have to understand the average ass size in America, which is 40”. Given our understanding of the language, and the measurement, this allows us to use SCIENCE to understand that a, “piece of string is 40”. Keep in mind that this is an American measurement, much as the imperial/ metric difference, the European piece of string is 34” and a bit sad, with the exception of the Mediterranean Nations (Italy, Greece, Etc.) who measure on the African standard of 45”, which is known in their dialects as a, “Donk of String.” In Asia, there is no piece of string to be found in local dialects due to a lack of reference, with the exception of the Philippines, which alternates between the European Piece and the Donk, depending on which island you are referencing.
So, in the United States, a 20” piece of string is technically known as a Half-Ass piece of string, which is more commonly used than the Olde English reference, to an, “Ass of String,” a measurement that never caught on, but misreading of old literature referencing as such in the works of Shelley did result in an article of clothing being created as beach wear in Miami.
Last edited:
Bzwrthy
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Yes gods. 13 years later and the quest for knowledge begins anew.
I love zombies and always have, ever since I saw my first Zombie picture as a kid during the golden age of Romero in the 1980’s. That being said, I do not trust zombies and have long been training to kill them just in case, just like everything else I love.
Philadelphia Sports teams hold a long and proud tradition which often dives into the Patriotic roots of Philadelphia’s role as the founding Capital of our nation, and the State of Pennsylvania as one of the original 13 revolutionary Colonies, as can be exampled by team names such as the Eagles and (17) 76ers. The Philadelphia Philles baseball team is the single oldest single name, single City Sports franchise in the United States, being founded and staying in Philadelphia since the late 19th Century. These are sprots franchise with a deep rooted sense of history.
Philadelphia Sports FANS, however are cultureless cretins that don’t actually qualify as human. With no interest in winning, they enjoy sports only to feed on the pain of others, which is nectar necessary for them to survive. Philly Sports fans enjoy a cultish system of ranking that grants promotion for such intolerable acts as giving AIDS to grandmas, vomiting on children, and punching horses square in the face.
I still have my 919, and love it. I bought a vinyl kit some while back to try and clean up the look of the older bike. I applied one piece as a test on my first attempt, kind of butchered it, and have not tried to complete it since. The vinyl covered side panel is still intact and a sexy albeit wrinkly around the edges, dark metallic blue.
Your description creates some serious questions for me about what you are using a ball gag for, but the default answer is if you are involved, then yes, full homo. Half leather, full glitter, with a pornstache.
Best time of year is in the offseason, you want to go when the kids are in school. Late September is fantastic, because the kids are all back in school, the weather in L.A. is quite tolerable, and the park has been transformed for their Halloween Celebration, which offers extra surprises and a few rides (Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion) dressed up outside their normal character, for a different experience than normal. Best time is to fly in on a Saturday, and go party in the downtown Disney/Anaheim Garden walk Area. Sunday you go in the park to take advantage of the still extended weekend hours, as many of the tourists will have left to fly back by lunchtime, so the late hours on Sunday are excellent. Monday and Tuesday are great days with more limited hours to catch the things you missed on Sunday. Getting an annual pas with blackout dates is a great guide. They make tickets a real bargain if you go twice a year or more, and the blackout dates are the days YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE THERE, due to crowds.
The newly opened Star Wars Land is going to create a royal clusterfuck once it is open to the public this summer. I intend to avoid the park this year and possibly the next few. Plans have been announced to open a New Marvel Land in California Adventure as soon as 2021, which will cause a parallel hysteria, as Star Wars more than likely will still be a global attraction until 2023 if I had to guess. If you have a need and just can’t miss the park for the next few years, use the above guidelines. Keep in mind, knowing how to navigate to the bars in California Adventure to keep your flow on point is critical to surviving the park.
Great question. In order to determine the rational answer one must look at the data provided. A, “piece,” being a typically nondenominational reference, must be determined using reasonable assumptions about human language. Now, Feud has taught us that sexual urges underpin most modes of human behavior, and using that accepted research, we can reference the most relatable common language reference, which is, “a piece of ass,” as in, “Ima get me a piece of ass tonight, if I got to blow my whole check.” Now understanding the piece of ass as our form of logical reference, which is totally SCIENCE, we have to understand the average ass size in America, which is 40”. Given our understanding of the language, and the measurement, this allows us to use SCIENCE to understand that a, “piece of string is 40”. Keep in mind that this is an American measurement, much as the imperial/ metric difference, the European piece of string is 34” and a bit sad, with the exception of the Mediterranean Nations (Italy, Greece, Etc.) who measure on the African standard of 45”, which is known in their dialects as a, “Donk of String.” In Asia, there is no piece of string to be found in local dialects due to a lack of reference, with the exception of the Philippines, which alternates between the European Piece and the Donk, depending on which island you are referencing.
So, in the United States, a 20” piece of string is technically known as a Half-Ass piece of string, which is more commonly used than the Olde English reference, to an, “Ass of String,” a measurement that never caught on, but misreading of old literature referencing as such in the works of Shelley did result in an article of clothing being created as beach wear in Miami.
love
May I store your body in my crawlspace after you travel to the afterlife?
Go Eagles!
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Bay Arean
Well-known member
Dear Eldritch:
Last evening, my son and his girlfriend came over for a Father's Day dinner. The girlfriend works in SF and related story after story of all the human poo and shootin up going on in the places she has to be to get to work (she works at Square).
So my question to you is: how does the poo thing finally resolve? My personal theory is that everytime you further empower or entitle the right of homeless to exist, they act out. First it was smashing car windows. Now it's pooing everywhere. How does this all end, anyway, even with a mayor trying to get them to poo and shoot up indoors. Also my son, who works in Berkeley said that just yesterday, a guy was out to lunch at a take out joint and some dude came up and poo'ed on the bench, so it ain't just an SF thing.
I'll take my answer on the air.
Last evening, my son and his girlfriend came over for a Father's Day dinner. The girlfriend works in SF and related story after story of all the human poo and shootin up going on in the places she has to be to get to work (she works at Square).
So my question to you is: how does the poo thing finally resolve? My personal theory is that everytime you further empower or entitle the right of homeless to exist, they act out. First it was smashing car windows. Now it's pooing everywhere. How does this all end, anyway, even with a mayor trying to get them to poo and shoot up indoors. Also my son, who works in Berkeley said that just yesterday, a guy was out to lunch at a take out joint and some dude came up and poo'ed on the bench, so it ain't just an SF thing.
I'll take my answer on the air.
Last edited:
westie
Its Dethklok!
Dear Eldritch, que es mas metal, Bathory o Andrew WK? Me pican las pelotas.
aminalmutha
New member
Dear Eldritch,
Someone couldn’t hear the safe word due to bodily fluids in the ears. How does one make it look like an accident?
Toodles,
Moi
Someone couldn’t hear the safe word due to bodily fluids in the ears. How does one make it look like an accident?
Toodles,
Moi
I kinda want to change my screen name to The Donk of String. Is that a good idea?
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13 years more of wisdom. This should be good.
HappyHighwayman
It's all in the reflexes
I regret asking++
2legs2wheels
Well-known member
lizard
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Dear Eldritch,
Let’s pretend that I am dating a Catholic nun. Does the five date rule still apply?
With fondest memories of hot dogs,
lizard
Let’s pretend that I am dating a Catholic nun. Does the five date rule still apply?
With fondest memories of hot dogs,
lizard
2strokeYardSale
Moab on my mind
Dear Eldritch,
Please explain the economics of inflation and how the three date rule become the five date rule.
Please explain the economics of inflation and how the three date rule become the five date rule.
FXCLM5
bombaclaud
for your track bikeDear Eldritch
Have you not gone and cleaned up on Jeopardy?
Have you not gone and cleaned up on Jeopardy?
wazzuFreddo
WuTang is 4 the children
Dear Eldritch,
Should I roll the dice on burritos in Ireland? Looks like the owner is from Tijuana, could be legit.
http://www.pablopicante.com/
xoxo,
wazzuFreddo
Should I roll the dice on burritos in Ireland? Looks like the owner is from Tijuana, could be legit.
http://www.pablopicante.com/
xoxo,
wazzuFreddo
tuxumino
Purrfect
Dear Eldritch,
is it against the Geneva convention to torture someone by taking their shoes and socks off, smearing cat food on the bottoms of their feet and having kittens lick it off?
is it against the Geneva convention to torture someone by taking their shoes and socks off, smearing cat food on the bottoms of their feet and having kittens lick it off?
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augustiron
A firm member
Dear Eldritch,
Siouxsie or Patricia Morrison?
Siouxsie or Patricia Morrison?
Bay Arean
Well-known member
We have overwhelmed the man.
Eldritch
is insensitive
It will not be fixed. San Francisco is the gold standard for elitist, exclusionary, American leftism. The root of the problem is a culture dedicated to putting funds out there to assist the needy, without any willingness for accountability or personal responsibility from either the needy, or those contributing the funds. I work in an industry that tries directly to help with this problem, but I won’t prattle on about it and turn this into a political thread. You know you are fucked up when the bloody New York Times is calling out your liberalism. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/22/opinion/california-housing-nimby.html
Lemmy, dude, the answer is Lemmy. You know this.
This is a great idea, please used the included link. I will personally pay any and all fees associated with facilitating this great idea.
https://www.courts.ca.gov/22489.htm
As Nuns are old school, the CHEESEFURTER Rule applies on the 3rd recordable event.
Shit, I don’t know, hopefully all? We could use the flava around here, it’s a new game, a new era, mate 11!!!11!
Please see Lizard’s previous post in the Turning 40 Thread around having a 36 hour recovery time. Since a man’s inflation is directly proportionate to how low his balls hang, when they get down to your knees, you need to adjust your plan programming for your inflation accordingly and space it out.
Also, you’ll go blind, you need to cut back.
No, part of being The Eldritch One means keeping my powers mysterious and secret. Also, I am pretty sure Alex Trebek is one of the Reptile People, which freaks me out.
As you well know, what is best in life is to, “Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of der women.” The important reveal about Humanity there, is that we are fortunate in that we are the only species on earth able to appreciate what is best in life. Most life forms are unable to grasp the concept of enemies, or understand the nature of lamentations when they hear them, so truly, Crom has given all humans a gift in their ability to revel in such great things.
Yes, the default answer to risking a Burrito is always yes. Burrito joy is always worth literally putting your ass on the line. However, before you go in, you should wear the largest Sombrero you can find, with a serape, because Ireland is cold, and warn them in advance that as property of your wife you are officially a Mexican now and they will be judged accordingly. Make sure you are near the hotel before you do this.
Technically no, but nobody is afraid of the Swiss anyway, fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke. If Geneva calls you to protest, tell those fuckers to eat a chocolate and fuck off before you bend them over and make them your Swiss Miss.
Brutal Call. We love Patricia, but Siouxsie refers to the lead singer of The Cure as, “Fat Boy Smith,” which means she wins.
No dear, but I do have a job and some semblance of a life. A practitioner of the Eldritch Arts can only do so much.