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What Are You Thinking Of Right Now?

What you have said is so true. It’s been more than three years now since I lost my wife to Alzheimer’s and I would go through it all again, in an instant, to experience her smile and her compassion and her love for just a single minute.
 
I think since you are capable of long term intimacy you are also able to feel deep loss.
I'll be thinking of you today.
 
Melissa said:
I think since you are capable of long term intimacy you are also able to feel deep loss.
I'll be thinking of you today.
Click to expand...
Thank you. And yes, I have experienced both. It’s been a sort of ying yang thing. My life remains balanced and at the same time, the range of experiences I’ve had is wide and deep.
 
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I’m thinking I will share something that my wife wrote a few short years before she died. She was a writer, among other things, and I discovered this poem she wrote, pinned to the bulletin board above our desk. I sobbed uncontrollably as I read it for the first time.

Princes

What happened to the shy and quiet boys
who walked the halls alone at school
and didn’t come out for track and field
or football?

They were the thinkers, the daydreamers,
the future poets who read a lot
and fantasized
about what it was like to be adored
or to be a great dancer.

The girls, like me,
followed the tall handsome ones,
their muscles bulging
from their football jerseys,
and their white teeth glistening
through self-assured grins.

Those boys knew the girls wanted them.
They knew we could be won
in the back seat of a Chevy
at the drive in.
Who needed homework?
There were more exciting thrills
To be had after school.

But the girls grew up,
reluctantly,
and started to discover
that the shy and quiet boys
were the true princes
in disguise.
Alas! No shining armor to be seen.
What a surprise!

These were the boys who would hold us
when we were down and lonely.
They could make us laugh
when our world was caving in.
They were the ones
we could tell our deepest secrets to.

These boys, now men, learned
to know and love themselves
while living alone in their own worlds.
They now know better how to give.
And how to love us truly and completely.

I know. I married one.

Cheryl Valdin
9/92
 
I’m thinking about my sister who will be 70 this year.

Also thinking in no particular order:
Why can’t we seem to make time to get married married.
Life is not real fun right now
TWT is healing hope she’ll be back on 2 by the time my Ibex is sprung from CARB prison
Wondering if confidence ever returns
Wondering how Melissa is doing
Wondering what it will take to calm my brain
Has CDONA talked himself into or out of it?
 
Thumper:

Married married??

Sometimes life offers you fun, sometimes it offers you other things. In the end, it all works out.

Yes, confidence always returns. But the periods of time without confidence can be disconcerting. Keeping one's life simple helps.

I haven't the foggiest idea about Melissa. But I hope she's doing well.

To calm your brain, try listening to Paul Horn's album called Inside. Truly magical music. And it works for me.

No idea about CDONA.

I hope all of the above helps.

Cheers!

Martin
 
Oh, and your brain is impossible to shut off. It’s always thinking, even if it’s gooble-dee-gook. That’s what makes up your dreams.

Try telling yourself that you will think about whatever is troubling you at a later time. Maybe think about something pleasurable. I used to think about how I would make my 1953 Studebaker into a hot rod. Or I’d run 3D CAD in my brain, trying to solve my next day’s challenges. I always quickly fell asleep.
 
Martin makes me think of my first car, a 1955 Studebaker Commander. Beautiful thing, it took out a telephone pole.
 
ThumperX said:
I’m thinking about my sister who will be 70 this year.

Also thinking in no particular order:
Why can’t we seem to make time to get married married.
Life is not real fun right now
TWT is healing hope she’ll be back on 2 by the time my Ibex is sprung from CARB prison
Wondering if confidence ever returns
Wondering how Melissa is doing
Wondering what it will take to calm my brain
Has CDONA talked himself into or out of it?
Click to expand...
come up and stay with us. i’ve got a friend who can marry the two of you in the house, on one of the decks, or under the trees. any time, day or night. it could be magical.
 
ST Guy said:
I’m thinking I will share something that my wife wrote a few short years before she died. She was a writer, among other things, and I discovered this poem she wrote, pinned to the bulletin board above our desk. I sobbed uncontrollably as I read it for the first time.

Princes

What happened to the shy and quiet boys
who walked the halls alone at school
and didn’t come out for track and field
or football?

They were the thinkers, the daydreamers,
the future poets who read a lot
and fantasized
about what it was like to be adored
or to be a great dancer.

The girls, like me,
followed the tall handsome ones,
their muscles bulging
from their football jerseys,
and their white teeth glistening
through self-assured grins.

Those boys knew the girls wanted them.
They knew we could be won
in the back seat of a Chevy
at the drive in.
Who needed homework?
There were more exciting thrills
To be had after school.

But the girls grew up,
reluctantly,
and started to discover
that the shy and quiet boys
were the true princes
in disguise.
Alas! No shining armor to be seen.
What a surprise!

These were the boys who would hold us
when we were down and lonely.
They could make us laugh
when our world was caving in.
They were the ones
we could tell our deepest secrets to.

These boys, now men, learned
to know and love themselves
while living alone in their own worlds.
They now know better how to give.
And how to love us truly and completely.

I know. I married one.

Cheryl Valdin
9/92
Click to expand...
A worthy, quick read. thx

It made me wonder (I go off on tangents, often.) about the tall, handsome high school jocks who had it all. The girls, the fame, the letter jackets. Of course they scored the cheerleaders and the trophy wives and the mcmansion and the material status symbols and . . . . . attorneys on speed dial.

My wife was ten years older, I got to meet her high school classmates at reunes, it was easy to spot the ex-jocks and BMOC's. Sleek, well dressed, golf tans hiding rosacea and long suffering second or third wives. Third drinks in and it was glory days. But between the oldies cuts, none of them said how happy they were. Easy to spot patterns.

When I asked my wife about poor first choices in men, she said, "If I had met you first, I wouldn't have had those two children to gift you with." Here's hoping your wife provided you with a lifetime of "just WOW" moments. The ex-jocks never get that.
 
Good Morning!
I am well. I finally got a heating pad for my arthritic shoulder and have it on right now.
I think it'll promote a lessened pain factor.
Also I think about my 2 dogs often. We are a pack albeit a small one.
 
OH yeah. Wed at LB's place and exchange well, whatever you'll be exchanging. Rings perhaps or slabs of metal and barge steel.
 
ST Guy said:
I’m thinking I will share something that my wife wrote a few short years before she died. She was a writer, among other things, and I discovered this poem she wrote, pinned to the bulletin board above our desk. I sobbed uncontrollably as I read it for the first time.

Princes

What happened to the shy and quiet boys
who walked the halls alone at school
and didn’t come out for track and field
or football?

They were the thinkers, the daydreamers,
the future poets who read a lot
and fantasized
about what it was like to be adored
or to be a great dancer.

The girls, like me,
followed the tall handsome ones,
their muscles bulging
from their football jerseys,
and their white teeth glistening
through self-assured grins.

Those boys knew the girls wanted them.
They knew we could be won
in the back seat of a Chevy
at the drive in.
Who needed homework?
There were more exciting thrills
To be had after school.

But the girls grew up,
reluctantly,
and started to discover
that the shy and quiet boys
were the true princes
in disguise.
Alas! No shining armor to be seen.
What a surprise!

These were the boys who would hold us
when we were down and lonely.
They could make us laugh
when our world was caving in.
They were the ones
we could tell our deepest secrets to.

These boys, now men, learned
to know and love themselves
while living alone in their own worlds.
They now know better how to give.
And how to love us truly and completely.

I know. I married one.

Cheryl Valdin
9/92
Click to expand...
Very nice ST.
 
Well...
I was thinking about something very different until I read ST guys post.
What great messages from amazing people.
First learn to love as hard as you can for as long as possible.
And then great knowledge of a young woman grown to have perspective of obviously a man that touched her heart in a very special way.
Thank you for sharing and giving others reasons to live every day to its fullest.
 
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