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What Are You Thinking Of Right Now?

I’m thinking about my mother and how horrific her childhood must have been. It’s the first time I’ve looked at her behavior as a defense rather than an attack. Oh how I wish little me could have understood this. I’m thinking we will both come to terms with this and find a good place before the last breath.

I also think going back fills me with dread.
 
I eventually came to the realization that my mother was just a damaged person herself, trying her best to work through her own childhood trauma. She passed down some undesirable traits. I forgave her... unfortunately, it was after her last breath.
 
I was with her right until the end, tho!
I was her caretaker (with help from my wife and one of my brother's.) We got along fine and she had a peaceful end. But we always had a combative relationship. I didn’t figure it out until after she was gone.
 
One of the best days I have had in a while. Went to coffee with a few friends, then Peter took me to my favorite winery for a lovely tasting. It was 82 degrees!!! We had the place almost to ourselves. Then I actually got myself a pizza. Haven't had one in almost a year. Not a bad way to celebrate another turn around the sun. I'm off to bed. Night all.
 
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