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Post / Chat whores post here (2024)

A woman at the marina lost her husband then her dog within 3 weeks of one another. She adopted a beautiful German shepherd whose coloring makes him look like an old guy but he’s only 3 or 4. Know she may need to go into assisted living and she is actively looking to rehome Henry.
 
The Wednesday day skate pretty great.
 
I'm having fun chatting with people about all sorts of stuff
 
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Morning nerds, I mean whores..

Woke up around 4, procrastinated for a bit, slept a bit and then gave up and got out of bed around 8 (early for my unemployed self). Dishes done, counters wiped, coffee brewed. Gonna play with more video today.
 
Packing up for a Yep day. Got a surprise V mom from a client. Doesn’t suck.
 
Not too bad, wake up a bit late , not sure what’s up with the 4am thing , the world is still revolving (I think, mine certainly is spinning, but I’m slamming toasty slathered slices to fix it)

ThumperX said:
Packing up for a Yep day. Got a surprise V mom from a client. Doesn’t suck.
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Thinking V mom is Apple’s version of an invoice autocorrect .

Maybe I should have picked up that cold 650 call … haha no. Another spamrobofake
 
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Apologies on long post to follow feel free to skip/ignore:

Update on my friend's...unbalanced....wife and our relationship. BTW I have spoken to many close friends about this including my BFF who is good friends with the wife and she is also on my side. Literally everyone I've spoken to has agreed my friend's wife is acting unlike a normal person (I don't like to use the word crazy).

My friend's wife is out of town. Their relationship has been on the rocks for a few years, and I realize my friend has not been entirely truthful about their status, always saying things are going better blah blah blah. We get together and I finally admit to him that I don't want to support her, I don't feel like we're even friends anymore, she has never/rarely expressed gratitude for the many many things I've done on their behalf as a couple or specifically for her to ease the relationship, and I am not prepared to even pretend to provide the support and empathy that she expects/wants from me. I could see the defeat in his eyes as he tried to defend her as "having a hard time" (for the past 3 years...).

I let him know at some point I was going to have to respond to her, and she would not like it. I know how people like that are, if I try and defend myself or write back she will just argue with me even if I say "I feel..." statements (which are obviously not statements of fact, but rather "When you do X, I feel Y" which is valid).

My mistake in this case was assuming he would tell her about these things. He clearly did not.

I then receive the nuttiest message from her:

Hey, I know we had a tough exchange of words and it was hard and upsetting for you to receive. It was probably shocking and you don’t know what to say. At the same time, it’s important that you know where I’m at and why

I wanted to let you know that I was wanting a direct reply to my prior messages and dropping the conversation isn’t the right approach in this case

If you are not sure how to reply, here is an article that can help:

https://parade.com/living/empathy-statements

You don’t have to agree with me in order to show caring

(friend) let me know that you two spoke about how to proceed by finding things to do that aren’t alcohol related, and I thank you both for that

I know that empathy is hard for you, and that there some very good reasons why that is the case, and it has been beyond your control.

I encourage you to give it a try regardless, even if it comes out wrong, it’s better than not replying.
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This might be the least aware, insensitive, and most insulting message I've received in a long time, but the fact is I am not "upset" about being told I don't empathize properly and here's a canned list of responses I would appreciate being sent, but rather I DON'T CARE about her feelings one bit anymore. I haven't responded because I don't want to argue with her. I am just ignoring her now. I am valid in a response but after much reflection I truly feel there is no salvaging our relationship while she is experiencing her "issues".

So I'm just going to ignore her.
 
That whole sitch is odd. I think your buddy is stuck and doesn't know how to get out of her orbit at this point.
 
She is opposite of my kind of person. She's into all the artsy stuff that many people find neutral at best, and grating at worst (Clowning, mime, burlesque). I think she is his real life Manic Pixie Dream Girl. She wants someone to be "silly" with, and in that regard he is super supportive of her, but I find all these things super boring/grating. Like I enjoy my hobbies very much but don't need people to come out to "support" me in them.

I mentioned to my friend that I always invite them to my birthday event, and they never show up...she said "They don't like your friends" and I said "I don't like their friends either but it never stopped me from showing up to parties or social events"

mean dad said:
Hit her with "ok"


Gets 'em every time.
Click to expand...

I enjoy this suggestion
 
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Maybe just reply back with a very simple "got it"or something. She clearly wants a response.
 
Brokenlink said:
Maybe just reply back with a very simple "got it"or something. She clearly wants a response.
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She wants more than that she wants words of "empathy" or something. The web site she linked is ridiculous and full of canned responses that I don't even agree with me needing to send her. She wants stuff like "Oh I can't imagine what you're going through and I am here for you". But she has burned that bridge, I am not there for her.
 
Or maybe something closer to truthful, but with slightly softer edges, like you're exhausted with the friction and you need a break.
 
“I’m sorry, I’ve been going through some personal private issues lately and lack any additional energy or bandwidth at this time .
Please take care of yourself; I’ll reach out when I have energy.”
 
Oooh yeah, that's real good. Do that, J. Maybe swap "energy" at the end for "more to offer". Make her feel needy.
 
Then give her what she wants:

"I'm here. I'm here with you. I understand how irritating and frustrating that experience must have been. I can feel in my body how heavy this is. I'm here to hold space for all your feelings. Give yourself the same care, compassion, and grace that you give others. Even if I don't have a solution for your issue, I am here to listen. No, no, no, no, no, oh God, no. Just hearing that makes me mad/sad/etc. I can only imagine what it’s like to experience it. This sucks! I don't know how you feel but I am here to assist in any way I can. Me too. I know. I'm team Jordan. I hear you and I'm not going anywhere. No, no, no, no, no, oh God, no. I know. This sucks!"
 
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